Can Be Cheated On Contribute To Creating Ptsd?

[anon87]

Yes, I did experience one of the following.

Yes, I understand that I cannot self-diagnose.

No, my insurance will not pay for PTSD treatment even if I had it. My insurance does not offer behavioral health coverage which includes therapy, counseling or psychiatric assessment.

No, I really do not see a way around moving forward without the assessment, either.

I've looked into installment payments but so far this has been unsuccessful. I will continue looking.

My only plan was to learn what is within the realm of mere possibility - and go from there. Although it will potentially take many years for me to afford a psychiatric assessment, if ever; I was merely interested in other routes such as self-help literature, any other affordable alternatives, or ideas to begin from.

Yes, I do understand there would be zero benefits in having treatment for a disorder which I might not have.

 

[Lucycat]

Anything can 'contribute' if all the other criteria is met. Anything can be the straw that broke the donkey's back.

But what to do now?

Here in the UK you would go and visit your GP and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. I have no idea which country you are in or what type of dollars you are referring to, but it is clear you are not here. What do people in your country do to get treatment for other mental health problems - schizophrenia for example?

 

[anon87]

I will not elaborate. Quite frankly, I shouldn't have to elaborate and drag my experiences through the mud to earn support, no offense intended.

Unfortunately I am not in the UK and I wish I had the answer to your question. All I know is that a few years ago I had a small window of opportunity to pay roughly seven hundred dollars for COBRA for a brief time. Typically insurance will offer behavioral health coverage - and most people receive health insurance through work benefits. My insurance policy is out of pocket which is called an individualized plan. There are no individualized plans in my state that offer the coverage I need. So I wish I knew what other options exist... I imagine a destitute man with schizophrenia would probably be homeless?

 

[NovemberStar]

That really sucks (the insurance thing). If you have PTSD, you'll need more than self help books I'm afraid :(.

 

[anthony]

Yes, I did experience one of the following.

Then if you do have PTSD, it is from one of those following, and NOT from a cheating spouse as you specifically asked here. You can endure a trauma and PTSD can develop at any period later in life, regardless of further events or not occurring. There is no rhyme or reason to who gets it and who does not, providing you endure a qualifying event.

You need to get assessed. There is really nothing further to say, because you seem more concerned about sharing your insurance issues than the real issue at hand. You can help you from this point onwards, by seeking assessment before making further determinations.

 

[Dana1010]

I disagree with the posters here saying that being cheated on cannot cause PTSD for a couple of reasons.

(1) The dynamic of every relationship is different and the collapse of your particular relationship may have been conducive to trauma for countless reasons. Being in love with someone and watching them turn into a different person before your eyes sounds pretty traumatic to me.

(2) You can carry latent trauma for years that doesn't show symptoms until the straw that breaks the camel's back comes down - in your case a partner's infidelity.

If you think you have PTSD and are on a PTSD message board posting about it, my guess is you probably do. The diagnosis isn't a rarefied privilege bestowed on a select few who meet an arcane criteria.

 

[Mystery]

I believe that in time we will come to understand the workings of our nervous system, much more than we do now. According to the powers that be, you have to have your life threatened to be labelled with this PTSD trophy. We have a medical establishment that changes it's paradigms every few years as new discoveries happen.

There is a spectrum for everything from autism, psychopathy, lack of empathy, cerebral palsy, epilepsy and I believe there is one for what is commonly called ptsd. It's a spectrum with individuals falling somewhere on it according to the degree of threat, which part was threatened, by whom and for how long. Add to this the ego integrity of the individual to begin with and whether their attachment style has been traumatizing them their entire life in itself.

I feel that a combat veteran has a very different type of ptsd that someone who has developed it via childhood and abusive relationships. A person who goes into combat is more likely a more intact ego to begin with, then the type of trauma is of a different sort. There is mateship and support in combat too, support for the ego.

A relationship abusive survivor is an isolated target with a weaker ego to begin with. Screw what the DSM says and the next one and the next one. Apparently they're going to let emotional trauma survivors into their next labelling party anyway. So are we talking about trauma here or are we representing the medical establishment and it's objectification of human beings. I'm with Dana1010.

 

[Dana1010]

I think right now there are so many people being treated for depression, being treated for anxiety - psychotherapy lifers who actually have stored trauma at the root of their problems, but because they've never stood in front of an armored tank, their shrinks won't diagnose them.

 

[Mystery]

The list goes on Dana1010, like why isn't it a spectrum disorder called ASARS. Altered Stress Adaptation Response Syndrome, because we just keep making up names for behaviours according to the current values and insight of our times and the culture. How long did it take for Shell Shock to even be recognized let alone discarded as a label. Then it was manic depression and everybody sad got labelled with that until they cheered up.

I went to a psych ward for the first time in my life as a voluntary patient in 2001, then was made involuntary for not telling the psychiatrist what was bothering me because I didn't like or trust him. It was none of his business anyway. I just needed to rest and sleep. Now I did need to be there, mainly because I had no family support but I was relatively sane compared to some of the other poor souls in there. I was pretty angry about being made involuntary not that I could show it, so I just started being even more passive aggressive.

There were a lot of funny things that happened there, things patients said and did. You just couldn't help but laugh sometimes. And laugh I did on a few occasions til tears ran down my face. Now was that theraputic for me at the time? Absolutely, I hadn't been able to laugh for ages! When I got home after 28 days and requested a copy of my file, on one of the laughter occasions the psychiatrist had written 'Excessive Happiness'....What?! This is an official diagnostic criteria! Like I said, down with the DSM and the next one and the one after that.

Unfortunately, people need the labels to get access to healthcare and as much as no one deserves support more than anyone else, we must always honour and respect the people who do stand in front of tanks and live through combat, so that we can comfortably sit here and take our safety for granted.

 

[NovemberStar]

I think people are misinterpreting what the issue is. The OP asked if cheating can cause PTSD - answer is it cannot. It is NOT to say it is not a traumatic thing BUT in terms of a diagnosis of PTSD, it doesn't meet the criterion A.

People can be traumatized by just about anything and suffer immensely. Its possible to have PTSD-like symptoms from a much wider range.of events than those listed in criterion A - BUT it is not PTSD unless criterion A applies.

It might very well be (and isn't uncommon) for someone to go through childhood trauma (sexual or physical abuse) and appear to be ok. They might leave home, get married, have children and aside from a vague nagging Something underneath, are for all intent and purposes, 'happy'. Then a series of things happen - or maybe just the one - a husband cheats, they lose their job. Suddenly, they are experiencing PTSD-LIKE symptoms.

They see a Dr. Based on just the cheating / job loss, they cannot be diagnosed as haing PTSD. But if the Dr is aware of the previous trauma (childhood abuse) then yes, PTSD can be correctly diagnosed

If the same person presented with the exact set of symptoms (flashbacks, etc) but there's was no criterion A, then no, they do NOT have PTSD..

I think the other problem is people feel that unless they call it PTSD no one will have empathy for what they are going through. That without a label of PTSD, it somehow diminishes their pain.

It's unfortunate if that is the case, but I'd venture to say the opposite is also true - someone (NOT NECCESSARILY YOU OP) coming onto a forum where vast majority of members have diagnosable PTSD and saying they have PTSD because their cat died or their partner cheated on them or they lost their job - and they have had no direct or indirect threat to their life or experienced the utter TERROR that comes from such a situation, then its actually really insulting and / or invalidating to all those who have experienced feeling that way.

Which I think you'll find is why members on here are quick to ask and probe a new member who seems to have been told they have PTSD or they think they do, yet have not had an experience of feeling and being terrorized.

 

[Hashi]

please do not presume to tell me whether or not my experiences were traumatic.

I don't think anyone has presumed anything - that's what the questions are about, getting some more information and clarty in order to know how best to respond to you.

You've asked for ideas of how to access a proper diagnosis/help. Would you be willing to share what country and perhaps what region/state you're in? That might help someone who could make suggestions.

 

[NovemberStar]

@anon87

I don't think anyone has presumed anything - that's what the questions are about, getting some more information and clarty in order to know how best to respond to you..

I thought I made it pretty clear in my posts, that in no way was I saying being cheated on is not traumatic to a person. But it cannot lead to PTSD due to the criteria.

Previous definable trauma as in life threatening events might be triggered much later in in a persons life by something not defined as 'traumatic' but which the person felt traumatised (ie being cheated on, or the death of an abuser - a common trigger for those with childhood sexual a use for example) and then the defining trauma is triggered and they develop PTSD. But it's always the underlying definable trauma that forms the basis of PTSD.