Can I Help Alleviate His Stress?

[spookedlife]

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So glad you found my post helpful. I would have recommended exactly the selection of books you have listed. I think it would be a good idea to start with those, in order to avoid being overwhelmed, at first.

Your mate is so fortunate to have someone such as yourself. Feel free to PM if you like.

 

[TeaLeaf]

I have a few suggestions as a PTSD sufferer and also as an RN. :)

He said he's stressing about it - it's taken him a long time to work up to making this appointment. He has asked me to pick him up from the hospital and stay with him overnight afterwards (doctor's orders that someone stays with him).....I've never been asked to stay overnight at his place before. He has difficulty managing his symptoms, so we don't end up spending that much time alone together. I am one of very few people he allows to come to his house.

How about a trial run (before surgery) of you staying at his house to see how things go. He may be resistant to this but if he finds that he really freaks out of this, better to find this out now so you two can figure out how to deal with it instead of it coming up the night after surgery.

I am worried that he might end up feeling so stressed about me staying over, that he decides that he's better off finding his own way home and ends up being alone after the procedure.

Every hospital I have worked at will not allow someone to leave after surgery without a friend or family member accompanying them. It is too much of a liability to just let someone leave alone and take a cab or even worse drive home. And when I procedure I needed sedation for, they wouldn't even let me check in unless my ride home for later that day was checking in with me.

Otherwise, I'm trying to prepare for any eventuality. I guess if he ends up saying he doesn't want me to stay with him, then I will just say that I will be 'on call' if anything goes wrong and he needs me to take him back to the hospital.

I would strongly discourage you from leaving the apartment and simply being on call if things get bad, even if he gets mad at you for it, because leaving could be extremely dangerous. He may not be able to make good decisions after surgery due to anesthesia still wearing off or pain medications he is taking making him drowsy/altering his thinking so its really important that someone be there with him. If the doctor wants someone there with him overnight, there is a good reason for it.

 

[Friday]

I have a few suggestions as a
I would strongly discourage you from leaving the apartment and simply being on call if things get bad, even if he gets mad at you for it, because leaving could be extremely dangerous. He may not be able to make good decisions after surgery due to anesthesia still wearing off or pain medications he is taking making him drowsy/altering his thinking so its really important that someone be there with him. If the doctor wants someone there with him overnight, there is a good reason for it.

Strong ditto for @TeaLeaf.

Feel free to practice the phrase "Sit your drugged ass down and chill. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you."

Mmm. Actually maybe just stick to looking the "and neither are you" bit. Those would be fighting words when I'm ticked off. But all this prep for him being a growling mess, and being a rock through it, I hope means it ends up he's a kitten for you. Tucked in with a blanket and just grateful to be babied for a bit. We do that, too.

 

[Wastinglight]

I'm happy to say that it all went very very well - no problems, no stress :tup:. Thank you all once again for your advice, insight and support and kind words. I think it's safe to exhale now....

 

[MorningDove]

wow I learn so much here-thank you all for sharing what you do!