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Can Men Be "just Friends" With A Woman They Find Attractive???

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Although I'm not sure what attractiveness has to do with it. I've been ugly as balls at times and it doesn't stop men from wanting sex.

Cuz sex is from the most archaic part of the brain. Attractiveness of the partner isn't much of a factor when guys want to have sex.
 
@EveHarrington , But my question is why is that most of us women want that emotional connection and other values in a man before we want to go further? Why is it men think differently? They think we owe them sex just because we have a vagina. I mean there is more to a female body than a pair of boobs and other bits. But men's raging testosterone is only one they blame but can't they just come up with a better explanation than this? Guys don't relate emotions to Sex while us women have emotions that play a major role before we even want to bed a male. It's just sad. Maybe I should just become a lesbian lol
 
I honestly have no idea why women want/need an emotional connection first.

I just want someone to like me for me and not think I'm only good for sex. Sorry I'm harping on this but anymore I think if a long term friendship ends up with the guy seeing me only good for sex, maybe it's true and maybe I don't have any value beyond what I give in bed.

But this is just me. I'm sure other women are valued for more. Not sure how to prove that I'm worth more than just sex though.
 
I do NOT trust heterosexual men anymore, because they make up stories and try manipulating you. They can get strange and are very jealous and try controlling you as if they own you.
Some, not all.
why is that most of us women want that emotional connection and other values in a man before we want to go further? Why is it men think differently?
Dawinism tends to explain it as conflicting strategies for maximising reproductive success, for a male to impregnate as many females as possible, but for females to keep a male hooked and providing support for rearing sprogs - even though they might not be his.
Some Darwinists also claim that they have empirical evidence of women being more likely to sneak off for a shag on the side around the time of peak fertility.
They think we owe them sex just because we have a vagina. I mean there is more to a female body than a pair of boobs and other bits. But men's raging testosterone is only one they blame but can't they just come up with a better explanation than this?
Some do, not all.
Maybe I should just become a lesbian lol
No harm in exploring
There are some interesting explanations for that in Darwinism - along the lines of females being more open to gay sex as a means of keeping a mutually supporting relationship cemented, and successfully raising sprogs as a result. that might also offer an explanation for why lesbian fantasies are popular in porn for males (those models don't look anything like the lesbians I know!).

I've used the word "darwinism" rather than something like "evolutionary behaviour" because it remains an assumption that evolutionary theories are fit to provide adequate explanations for what we see In the area of human behaviour.

In the area of behaviour of the sexes, there's a book review/critique/refutation in the journal of evolutionary psychology that you might find good, The title is something along the lines of "Sex in the evening", it's critiquing a book that was titled "sex in the morning" or "sex at dawn" (the journal gives free access on the net).

I think that there's a lot more there than a reductionist Darwinist would have us believe, but it does provide a good starting point.

As an example of that more, this is from economic reasoning: The only world that could be imagined in which it would not be of any benefit for humans to cooperate with each other, would be one where we were all identical in likes, dislikes, abilities, interests, intelligence (or lack of), and where all land was equal too.
The more that we and our world differ from that imaginary all identical one, the more advantages there are in cooperation (including but not limited to trade and division of labour).
In a volountary exchange each party to it expects to gain something that they psychologically value more highly than what they give up (that works for charity too - the giver expects a psychological gain)

A parasite expects to gain without giving you anything which you particularly value (and naturally you are not willing to engage in the exchange)
we can only withstand supporting a very few parasites - we can't all be parasitic. (I can flesh this out if it's not clear).

Jass, I think that those little boys are trying to be parasitic.
The Ladies here will have better lines than I have for asking them if they've anything important to say - because you're too busy or it's too late, or you don't want to take a call, or listen to them bore you, or put up with their flirting etc.

@
 
Dear @EveHarrington , wanted to give you a :hug:. I know how you feel because I also feel the same. I've always wanted to be with someone who would respect me and accept me for who I am but it has never happened (My eyes are tearing as I'm writing this because I remember all the bad memories associated with men). My first abuser is my father to whom I was never good enough and never will be, was always degraded as a child because I was "the female child" which means I'm not important, he verbally, emotionally and physically abused me(tried killing me at 10). Then comes the pedophile (mum's brother-in-law) who molested me at the age of 9 :( :( :(. Then the third and most vicious male is my mum's narcissistic brother who forced child labor on me at the age of 12, verbally and emotionally abused me.

All my life I have been craving for acceptance from none other than my own father and it breaks me down whenever I try thinking about this too much. I've worked really hard, always topped at school, got scholarships but I still feel dumb because that's who I am in my father's eyes and I cannot change this image. I have never had a relationship with any guy. Whenever there was some attraction, I wanted that platonic bond before any physical bond but the guys have always disappeared when I didn't let them use me physically at the initial stage of the relationship (only had one relationship). I have had one platonic relationship on the internet and it was for two years with someone who was just playing with my feelings and already had a girlfriend in life. When I found out about it, he insulted me, called me failure and repeated what my father has said to me. Each time I tried being with someone, he only wanted to have physical relationship and when I refused I was insulted and ignored. I'm going through the same crap again. Now I have shut myself off from men because I feel that there is no one out there who will want me for me other than any ulterior motifs, who will respect me, treats me like a person and who respects my values, morals and ethics and my honesty BUT now I am a thorough believer that such person does not exist and it's all my fantasy after all I'm that unwanted female child and why will someone treat me well when I've been abused all my life? That's why I have shut myself off and decided not to let anyone near me because they always break my heart and treat me like doormat. I'm more than my body and face :( :cry: :depressed: :( :(
 
I'm so sorry------I am not quite sure what to say but I feel so bad that you feel like you need to shut yourself off from men. I've got my own struggles right now and while the PTSD side of me is fighting like a wild cat, the other side of me still has hope that I can get through this and find someone who likes me for me and it's not all about sex. I think we can both get through this! :hug:
 
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