Can Ptsd Change You From Your Former Self?

[Nico]

Since I discovered this website, I have become very interested in PTSD. For those that may or may not know how I arrived here, it was through a military BF I had at the time who has combat PTSD. I'll try to explain what I mean regarding my posted question. I have moved on and healed from him disappearing on me, but I ran into his profile on a dating website. Yeah, total kick in the gut. I've known this guy for 20 years and he joined the military as a journalist. Very articulate, kind, sweet, and gentle guy. Half way through his last deployment I felt a change in him. All he talked about was weight lifting when he had spare time. He was not a gym rat muscle building kind of guy (and had been on several prior deployments). More the book nerd guy. I think it's great to develop new hobbies, don't get me wrong, but this became more like an obsession for him to "get big." I'm curious if he actually is on steroids. When he returned from deployment, he was fine at first, but then completely disappeared after panicking on a phone call with me. However I do recall him mentioning one time we got together about the gym and "getting big."

His dating profile was staggering. It read like a 4th grader wrote it. Rather embarrassing if you ask me. Just stupid remarks about how he has pots and pans, shorts, and chuck all stars. No mention of anything redeeming, values, or what he looks for in a woman. You know, what most people put on dating profiles. I didn't even recognize this guy aside from a joke he made about beer. That's the other thing, he talked about alcohol a lot in the very limited profile. His pictures were of him looking all beefed out from lifting weights. I totally didn't recognize that body. He looked terrible. I don't know how someone who was lean/average build could even get that buffed out. His tagline was "message me if you like dudes who lift weights." I was like, "who is this guy????!!!!!"

So I guess my question is, if you go through some bad moments with the PTSD, can it cause you to change from your original self in some respect? I seriously don't ever want my ex back after seeing that profile (and that he chose to post that and not even give me closure), but can't help but be curious about this. Can it cause you to become impressionable?

 

[anonymous]

Steroids fried his brain? That's my guess.

 

[Nico]

Probably right and if those are getting mixed with whatever else he's on, guess that can be a kooky med cocktail.

 

[BlueOrange]

I have sometimes 'made a decision about who I'm going to be from now on' and obsessed over doing the things that I associate with the person that I'm trying to be.

My suspicion (based on your report of your observations) is that he's done something similar - nothing bad ever happened to 'weightlifting guy', so that who he will be from now on. My amateur diagnosis would be DID, which has a lot in common with PTSD, and is a response to trauma.

 

[shimmerz]

So I guess my question is, if you go through some bad moments with the PTSD, can it cause you to change from your original self in some respect?

Yes. I am not DID either, but I have reworked myself probably 15 times in my life. When things feel out of control, it can seem like a fresh start when one transforms oneself. In PTSD it is my humble opinion that the SELF is many times in crisis. It is dynamic and not static.

Can it cause you to become impressionable?

For myself, I wouldn't call it an impressionable thing but for others perhaps. For me it is more about fresh starts when something(s) are overwhelming to me.

 

[Nico]

Holy crap man, DID. I just read up on that. WOW...I don't even know what to say...but that is seriously what could be happening.

 

[Friday]

...but that is seriously what could be happening.

It's extremely unlikely. As far as I know DID only stems from severe childhood abuse.

Military folk (and cops, other first responders, etc.) are notorious for compartmentalizing, but while we might seem like different people depending on what situation we're in (sex kitten dating, super-mom at the PTA, gushing best friend, stone cold at work), we're still us. It's just following very regimented rules for standards of behavior, and what's "allowed" in which sphere of influence we're in. So we're not barking orders at our families, or soft when we need to be hard, or, or, or.

PTSD has a habit of breaking those compartments down... So we start crying at work, and lashing out at our loved ones... Not splintering them into entirely different personas.

What sounds far more likely is dude has become a gym rat, and has fallen into and loved the culture... -or-... Without being in love with him anymore, you're able to see his asshole side better. Or a combo of both.

 

[Nico]

...and possibly a temporary DID. Or just a guy who juiced up abroad and relapsed after trying to reingage to civilian life.

 

[anonymous]

It's very unlikely to be DID as this is generally considered to be response to prolonged childhood trauma rather than linked to combat PTSD

"A number of experts agree that the following factors usually have to be present for a person to develop the most complex dissociative disorders e.g. DID, or DDNOS with features of DID:

• abuse begins before the age of five
• abuse is severe and repeated over an extended period
• the abused child has an enhanced natural ability to dissociate easily
• there is no adult to provide comfort – the child had to be emotionally self-sufficient."

Link Removed

Can PTSD change a person though? I'd say yes. In fact even without PTSD, people are changed all the time by major events in their lives aren't they? sometimes in positive ways, sometimes in negative ones.

Maybe it's just that his way of dealing with his problems at the moment is to become obsessed with the weight training and/or drink and maybe you just haven't seen that side of him before. I'd say it's pretty hard to judge whether it's a total personality change just from what he's choosing to present through a dating site. Perhaps at the moment he doesn't want a serious relationship from it so doesn't feel the need to go into values and redeeming qualities etc?

 

[anonymous]

and possibly a temporary DID.

I think you might have invented a new diagnosis/disorder there ;)

Or just a guy who juiced up abroad and relapsed after trying to reingage to civilian life.

I think this is far more likely

 

[Sweetpea76]

Half way through his last deployment I felt a change in him. All he talked about was weight lifting when he had spare time.

Maybe working out and "getting big" was a comfort to him while he was deployed, or a bonding experience with the other guys, and he is clinging to it as a coping mechanism. I know a lot of soldiers, and the most articulate of them can turn into knuckle-draggers when they get around a bunch of other alpha- males in a gym and/or bar. PT is no joke, especially if he was around a lot of infantry guys.

 

[Friday]

working out and "getting big" was a comfort to him while he was deployed, or a bonding experience with the other guys, and he is clinging to it as a coping mechanism. I know a lot of soldiers, and the most articulate of them can turn into knuckle-draggers when they get around a bunch of other alpha- males in a gym and/or bar. PT is no joke, especially if he was around a lot of infantry guys.

I'm hoping cheating by only deleting one word works... Cause... Yep. T'all of it.

And the only thing that feels better, helps stave off PTSD symptoms more -at least IME- is sex. And you need 2 or more people for that. Not like PT where you can wake up alone feeling like shit and go do pull-ups, and fill your body with proteins & other feel good for you stuff, and hit the streets, burn off the rage, and pound a bag for awhile, plus that wicked hot shower coming home... All good, healthy, controllable things... And look at yourself in the mirror and see the good taking shape. So you've got the camaraderie, competition, culture... All wrapped up in a controllable thing, with goals+results that you can actually see working. And mad moto. Around generally good people. With high energy to help feed off of no matter how low you might be. It's a seductive hobby. Even as a civilian. Active duty? Pfft. Forget about it. Harder, faster, stronger... Is literally a way of life. Cause being soft will kill you. So let's pump it! Bust it out! Let's go-go-go!!!