Can Ptsd Mess With Memory?

[blooberry]

I am an artist and its because it was the only way for me to cope/be happy growing up. it was the only thing no one could stop, take, or control.

unfortunately an ex friend of mine began copying/taking credit for my artwork when i was a high school student and it completely devastated me at a time when i had no idea about ptsd or the reality of my life... long story short i just *could not* draw anymore after this betrayal, i worked so hard and it took YEARS for me to draw again and heal. it was like i had to learn to draw all over again.

I used to be really good at painting and it would give me so much peace and happiness but i still cant seem to remember how. it used to be instinctive and natural. i knew what i was doing and what to do next.

my question is can ptsd make you forget how to do things that used to come naturally to you?

 

[Deleted member 37343]

I am not sure about in your sense since I don't struggle in the same way you do with art. I am an artist myself and I understand the frustrations of someone who copied or did not give credit to my original art work(and to then receive more attention for it..) But to the main question, if PTSD can cause memory problems? Yes. My memory is so terrible, yet the stuff I do remember are crystal clear as if it happened seconds ago. I can remember a lot of things from my very young ages (single digit ages) which was around the time my abuse started to happen. As I go along my time line, into my older years, fewer and fewer memories exist and the ones that do are either very fuzzy, or very random and clear. Majority of my memories are a millisecond long. Ones that are longer, I can count on my hands. I am notorious for having terrible memory.. but I must wonder. If I never went through a traumatic experience, would I have amazing memory? I have been tested to show I have a bit of both long term and short term memory. I have the bad memory type where I can't remember I did something, or that something happened, but I know I did it or it happened.

Example: Whenever I'm going to a new place or learning a new piano piece, I have little to no memory of it or how to, but I just know. Piano I feel is more like muscle memory.

Another time was when I knew my aunt was dead, I went to her funeral, but I had no memory of it. I kept "remembering" and "realizing" she was dead even though I already knew. I would confirm with other people that knew about her death.. a lot of people were frustrated with my bad memory for that.

Anyways, so again, yes it can. I would suggest speaking with your therapist about possible ways you can help with your memory. I'm sorry that you're having a tough time with your art. :( I know how frustrating it can get when you lose the one way to express yourself.. Just splatter paint if you must. Get angry, sad, break glass then redesign it into a different shape, anything. ( did that without any protective gear.. i highly suggest against that. wear goggles and gloves.. and thick pants. Cover yourself!)

 

[RecedingMoonlight]

Hey friend.

As an artist, I completely understand how you feel. I remember posting some of my art online, and a few of my works have been repurposed and reposted, as well as copied, without my permission. It's devestating and discouraging. It really is.

PTSD, especially when it comes to traumatic memories, can sometimes leave a person disoriented or unsure what happened to them (because the brain repressed it for their safety). Other people remember things crystal clear. But by the looks of it, it sounds more like you lost the motivation or the personal drive to do so. I used to write stories a lot, but for the past 2 years I've just found myself physically unable to write a long, cohesive story because my mind is so preoccupied on trying to cope with stress and just getting by. It really, really sucks, honestly.

Good news is, though, it doesn't mean that this ability to draw or write is permanently gone. You might be out of practice, but your body and mind do remember key aspects on how to do something - a lot like muscle memory. The best thing about art is that once you start it, your hand ends up starting to shape something, and you just sort of keep going. That's how it is for me anyway. :)