Relationship Can the emotional abuse stop without my leaving?

[Catlady4]

I’m putting up with the same thing from my boyfriend... he has PTSD from child abuse....
I’m scared to even continue to read the comments because I’ve asked this question before and everyone says there’s no hope...

 

[littleoc]

I’m putting up with the same thing from my boyfriend... he has PTSD from child abuse....
I’m scar...

Is he hurting you? :(

 

[dulcia]

In regards to your daughter, keep in mind how the relationships we see tend to shape the way we think relationships should be, once we reach adulthood. It's not easy being in a relationship with a PTSD partner, but as some members here have described, it sure as hell isn't easy being the child of a parent with PTSD.

I left my abusive, manipulative partner with PTSD and it was a decision that I don't doubt saved me.

 

[Catlady4]

Is he hurting you? :(

No, just emotionally (^^;

 

[littleoc]

just emotionally (^^;

“Just”?

You do deserve respect, you know. Even if he is symptomatic. Keep that in mind

There is a fair way to be that doesn’t involve either party being hurt “just” emotionally. If you’ve done your part and get nothing back, then take a better look

 

[Catlady4]

“Just”?

You do deserve respect, you know. Even if he is symptomatic. Keep that in mind

There is...

I feel like I may have unintentionally triggered him before I knew. We got in a lot of arguments, and I was constantly threatening to leave, sometimes from the anger and sometimes just from him shutting me out.... and it would make him hysterical, and when his crying stopped effecting me I would cut him off for a few days and he would threaten to kill himself or blackmail me. At one point I left for a month and went out with another guy, and my bf still asked me to come back and I did but he’s resented me for that ever since then. I’m a virgin but he’s called me a slut and a cheater for going out with another guy...
it’s really been a mess. I thought he was a narcissist and using tactics to control me but now it seems that it was really just emotional breakdowns and triggers from the PTSD and abandonment issues... I haven’t been able to support him and I lost his trust. I really don’t know at this point what could have been avoided if I just understood why he was acting the way he was...

 

[littleoc]

I feel like I may have unintentionally triggered him before I knew. We got in a lot of arguments, and...

Have you talked to him about all this? Particularly how you’re feeling now?

 

[Catlady4]

Have you talked to him about all this? Particularly how you’re feeling now?

Not too much because he’s been busy with work... Yesterday I texted him about it and he didn’t really respond, which I expected, but today he said “thank you for everything recently”...

 

[littleoc]

not that I know your full situation or anything, but I’d be tempted to call that promising.

 

[Catlady4]

not that I know your full situation or anything, but I’d be tempted to call that promising.

...[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I hope so. There’s been some gradual improvement before, but I’m just really glad that I finally understand what’s going on a bit more.
And thank you for your replies and concern. It is really helpful.

 

[Heather Nelson]

If you're determined to hang in their love without hurt the book may help you. It is the only book I have ever found to be helpful in these types of situations.

 

[Pippi427]

If you're determined to hang in their love without hurt the book may help you. It is the only bo...

Which book exactly?