Can You Or Do You Ever Just Let Go And Let Yourself Dissociate?

[BlackbirdSinging]

There are times when I do something and I'm not sure if maybe what I'm doing is actual dissociation or not in those moments. I know I dissociate at other times so I know what it feels like. But there are other times when things are stressing me out and I can feel myself getting upset and I know I'm about to get all upset and I don't want to go there. And I'll just sit down and decide to dissociate. I decide I can't and don't want to feel or deal with what's going on in those moments and I just kind of let go.

It's the same thing every time. I'll sit down and stare at the floor or even out of a window. And I let my mind go blank and I'll feel that familiar spacey fog surround me. I'm not scared and it doesn't hurt. It almost feels like a mix of meditation and dissociation. I'm there in the room I'm aware but I'm not talking or interacting with anyone. And it's like my feelings just kind of turn off.

I think one of the differences apart from me consciously deciding to do it is that I don't feel quite as far away as when I'm triggered or really upset and dissociated. But it's the same kind of foggy disconnected detached and almost numb feeling. Dissociating doesn't scare me. Only trying to drive or something while doing it is scary to me. But dissociating itself to me is like a kind of numb relief. It's almost like isolating in that way for me. Does anyone else do or experience this? Is it even possible? Is anyone else not totally scared of dissociating?

 

[Abstract]

. Does anyone else do or experience this? Is it even possible? Is anyone else not totally scared of dissociating?

Yes. Yes. And yes.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/anyo...even-aware-of-it-still-isnt-in-a-sense.38475/

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Is it actual dissociation? Or just some kind of spacing out?

 

[Abstract]

For me it is actual dissociation Blackbird.

I think when dissociation is something we have done a lot we do it fairly easily. Trance states are in essence a type of dissociation it's just that it is more common for it to happen in response to anxiety (dissociative trance). I don't have to be anxious to dissociate. I do when bored, when wanting to relax, when something sets me off in a non anxiety related way. It is an escape.In fact, without hard work it is my normal.

 

[arfie]

Count me a yes.

I believe "dissociation" has many synonyms. Detachment. Zoning out. Meditating. Daydreaming. Spacing.

I pay more attention to how and when I am doing it than what to call it. Absolutely, it is useful during those moments when life is not about me, but I am wanting to make it so. Not so much when I remove myself from life.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

That makes sense. It's easy for me to dissociate too. I just wasn't sure if it's possible to consciously do it. When I decide to it feels very similar and far away just not AS far away so I wasn't sure. And I keep reading about people being scared of dissociating and I don't feel scared of it. So I wondered about others who weren't scared of it either.

 

[CVC]

And I let my mind go blank and I'll feel that familiar spacey fog surround me. I'm not scared and it doesn't hurt. It almost feels like a mix of meditation and dissociation.

Yup! I'm actually grateful for this ability.

 

[Abstract]

I added a link on my first post to a thread of mine on a similar subject. I also started to feel a bit alien as people so often talk about how disturbed they are by dissociating. I do suspect that those of us who are not always freaked by dissociation are less common.

Being less far away is sure to just be an indication that you not quite so far in or dissociated.

 

[Lucycat]

Yes.

 

[arfie]

@BlackbirdSinging
I had a brother in healing who feared his ability to dissociate like an alcoholic fears the bottle. A minute is too much, the rest of his life is not enough.

He envied my ability to regulate it at all, though he wondered if I regulated it as well as I thought. I am still chewing that food for thought.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

grateful for this ability.

It is quite like an ability :)! I appreciate you calling it that :)! It kind of feels good or almost empowering to look at a situation that's upsetting to me and to decide to say "no thank you". And kind of go away. I guess in a way it's like we're respecting our own limits and boundaries by being able to just kind of let go and go somewhere else instead.

 

[Abstract]

It is an ability! Not everyone can do it.

It is an ability I am trying to avoid as I theoretically want to be present but it is still an ability. Have you read the dissociation thread in the article section?