Childhood Can You Really Heal From Childhood Abuses?

[Notsowild]

I feel where you are coming from. While I hate the idea that the things that happened to me so long ago are still affecting me, and at times I refuse to believe they are, it just feels ingrained
I want to heal, but at the same time I feel hopeless.

Ingrained - that's a great word for it. I hate it too. Why we can't just get over it. A magic pill or I've even thought about electric shock therapy. But they can't be sure do get the exact area of the brain that stores childhood traumas. Yes I even have trouble in other relationships. I have a hard time making friends I just feel so much different or damaged than everyone else.

 

[Notsowild]

@Nyssa....how are you doing?

Why do you mean by "fully healed"? How does it look like in your mind?
I think we all have a different idea of what healing should look like. Mine is still unclear.

Let's see...what it looks like in my mind? White picket fence, nice husband and lots of friends. Good job with good co-workers I can relate to. Pipe dream? Yes but why can't I have what everyone else has?

So I'm not there yet. But it's seems accessible.

I would like to say to you. Get all the help you can. Trauma therapy, CBT, DBT and EMDR. I never had all this when I first left my abusive home. Most of my therapies were a waste of time. You can get better.

 

[shell]

I never had a before trauma so I can't relate to the possiblility of returning to a before that some have talked about, but I think without doubt it is possible to achieve a much better standard of self acceptance and functioning in life as a result of treatment.

Most of my improvements have come from changing my way of thinking, when I gave up thinking it was hopeless and I was helpless to change my life, it opened the door to possibilities.

 

[Notsowild]

I always feel like I don't belong in the world. I am too different and too damaged. The child abuse is part of me that will never go away. I'm trying to get better at interacting with people. I have a hard time making friends when I feel so different. And having a relationship with a man, I won't even go there. Maybe someday it will happen but I'm not looking for one.

I'm angry for not being able to have what everyone else does. I'm angry because I want to fit in to society. I'll guess I'll stay the weird, quirky person everyone avoids.

 

[Yogi Bear]

I don't know the answer to your question but I have some thoughts. I was raised by a monster. I cannot go back in time and change the past. My memories will never disappear and the intense emotions that I feel about what happened will probably never go away. My goal is to learn how to have as happy a life as is reasonably possible. I have already made a lot of progress. I imagine that this will be a lifelong process.

 

[Go Hungry]

I don't know exactly what healed means either. I know I can never become the person who I would have been if there hadn't been any abuse. Ofcourse I don't know who that person would be. I like to think he would have been someone who did some good in the world. I barely remember a time before the bad stuff, so I grew up warped. I'm one of the guys who got the personality disorder. Bipolar. So I've had some experiences which I'm sure would blow 'his' mind. I.. I try to be thankful for my life, though I hate so much about it. I've made some good friends, and done some good things I think. Still I wonder.

Anyways... I guess 'healed' would be getting to a point where the things that happened in my past no longer restrain me. Being able to talk to people without fear. Meet people and know what to say, or even just how to say whatever it is I want to. It's all so difficult right now. I mean, I can't even stand to have people look at me, how the hell am I supposed to talk to them. I'm good at faking it alot of the time.. I built someone for that.. But the real me is something I can't stand to show to people because.. Well I'm a shivering freak, you know... I mean seriously, I'm afraid of children. Like, literally scared of little kids.

I'd like to stop being scared all the time. People, especially women, don't like scared guys...

 

[ghotiff]

I guess 'healed' would be getting to a point where the things that happened in my past no longer restrain me

I like this goal a lot !

 

[Raj]

Getting healed for me would mean going bankrupt to get out of rent own deal with parents. This happened after my previous home caught on fire with all the wiring smoking in the walls. Tried to just get a reference for rentals they pushed the you'll be safer in house (fear is a monster in my life) and then tried to rule my life. I have no contact other than through a bank now. Been trying to talk the wife into squatting in old trailer on some dry-land somewhere, so we can be free of these evil people. They use the home loan like their own piggy bank, was fixed now the keep adding loans to us for my siblings!

 

[dnp]

I feel very, very dysfunctional and have been throughout my life. I am trying to focus on what I can do. Even if it's not much.

 

[Notsowild]

It's definetly a tough one. I don't want to be this way. But I will always feel the shame of my abuse. It's part of me that will never go away. You can't tell anyone about it. It's disgusting! It's embarrassing! Everyone will shun me. It's still the dirty little secret. Shhh... Don't tell...keep quiet...no one will believe you. Too much sorry.

 

[friend to most]

Has anyone fully healed from prolonged sexual and physical abuse as a child.

I am 46 years old and I am still dealing with sexual and physical abuse form my childhood.

 

[ericaboo]

Others would consider themselves healed while they described extensive avoidance behaviours.

I'm told that moving into a state where I feel as if nothing bad happened is the opposite of what would help me heal. Unfortunately, that's the only respite I've ever known.

Allegedly, by integrating the truth of the trauma into my everyday reality, I can gradually lessen the impact. I keep trying to discern whether this approach is working or not. I'm staying the course, for now.

I don't believe that I will ever be able to live as if the trauma never happened. These experiences have shaped my life and personality - in some ways, defining who I am today.