Can't Fight The Suicidal Thoughts

[Ponderosa]

I'm sorry I know u all have ur own stuff going on x

True, and at the same time please keep reaching out. We care and are here to help, even if it's just listening. I rarely comment bc I feel I have little to offer, but know there are so many of us out here sending good, supportive thoughts your way. Please don't do this - you have people in your life who would be grieved if you did. Fight the good fight - you can do this.

 

[Gs172003]

I tried -i asked my friends to talk it grumpy with them but they wouldn't. Don't want my family to kno...

Yes it was, thank you.
You don't necessarily have to tell them your thoughts about that but maybe lean on them for support about the deaths. You all need each other, you all are all dealing with the same thing.

 

[Pixielicious]

I feel I should apologise to anyone receiving treatment on the NHS for my negative views, because if you're getting good treatment then I really shouldn't belittle the NHS.
My reason for the distrust is, I am a c-sect mom, had 3 sects abroad and my last one here in the uk.
I was on the operating table, the surgeon cut me open, took my baby out, and because the guy who did the anaesthesia, didn't do his job properly, the anaesthesia began to wear off and I began to feel everything and was eventually screaming my lungs out.....They knocked me out with an injection and couldn't apologise enough later.... Hence My mistrust of the NHS

 

[Alibongo]

True, and at the same time please keep reaching out. We care and are here to help, even if it's just...

Thank you I'm trying I really am it's just so hard some days.
@missy meier I guess I just feel that they are doing well-dont want to burden them then they slip back again.
@Pixielicious that must have been horrendous! To be honest I can't fault the service I've had from them really-my experience with the nhs has been pretty positive until now but I think this is my issue not there's. I actually work for the nhs so I do understand the pressures. I hope u are all doing OK today x

 

[Gs172003]

Thank you I'm trying I really am it's just so hard some days.
@missy meier I gues...

What about a support group? Surely there is a support group for people that are grieving?

 

[Pixielicious]

Thank you I'm trying I really am it's just so hard some days.
@missy meier I gues...

Thank you :hug:
I'm sorry for going off topic the way I have, but yes the NHS has saved many lives too and the NHS staff work crazy hours, with poor pay and do the best they can under the pressure they constantly face... That's why I never took them to court .
Lets get this topic back on you ms Alibongo!! :inlove:

 

[Alibongo]

What about a support group? Surely there is a support group for people that are grieving?

Well there is for the other survivors but my T doesn't want me to use it or speak to other survivors as she thinks it's keeping me stuck there and is a constant reminder. That's how I ended up here lol.

Ha ha @Pixielicious I'm glad of the distraction ;)

 

[Gs172003]

Well there is for the other survivors but my T doesn't want me to use it or speak to other survivors a...

Really??? Huh.

 

[Alibongo]

Really??? Huh.

Yeah u not agree? Tbh I think it came from when I went to the memorial-it made me a lot worse tbh

 

[BlueOrange]

It's taken me quite a while to be able to read the Introductions forum here. The first thing that most sufferers want to tell you is "This is how I was hurt." It's a difficult thing to hear, especially if they were hurt in a way that you understand well.

 

[Alibongo]

It's taken me quite a while to be able to read the Introductions forum here. The first thing that mo...

Yeah I know what you mean. I heard a lot of graphic things that I myself didn't experience which made it all worse. I tried to be there for people and help them afterwards-probably for slightly selfish reasons, to try and relieve some of the guilt I had for not being able to help and avoiding the main attack. But it meant I took on a lot of their experience. Then the guilt when I realised I couldn't help them, they relied on me but I couldn't do anything and it made my anxiety worse. I failed them again. It's the worst feeling being out of control and helpless.

I understand you not being able to read the introductions- some of the stories are earth breaking. Hope u are ok @BlueOrange xx

 

[BlueOrange]

I'm pretty good today. My birthday is in the coming week, and today is the day I'm celebrating it. The plan is for a nice day with the wife, no crowds :)

I mainly told that story to express support :) I suspected you would be able to relate and I wanted to show everybody that there can be good reasons to limit contact with sufferers.