Can't Seem To Eat...

[Deleted member 20978]

Yes probably same one. I saw the late night ad, picked one up at Kohl's iirc. Probably might have at other chains. There is a 600 and 900 rpm or horsepower or whatever, I recommend the faster one.

A word of warning -- when I first was using it to make the recommended smoothies (yes books included), I experienced such transformation after only a few days I had to ease up. It was as if I had suddenly started taking a bunch of strong psych meds. Strange as it sounds, such sudden dramatic changes in diet can be destabilizing even if healthy. But I still use the thing all the time. Basically everything FJ listed you could make with it. Plus it cleans super easy.

Trying to get as much as i can as soon as i can

Slow down if you can. It's hard. But yes I understand wanting to get some real food. I would imagine like frozen fruit and nuts or yogurt smoothies would be a healthy improvement from what you've been describing but in same ballpark for your system to absorb. Just a thought. There's really lots of options.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Slow down if you can. It's hard. But yes I understand wanting to get some real food.

Sorry, yeah its hard, i wanna eat real food & its frustrating that i canf eat real food!

Im stull gonna check it out at walgreens. Theres a Kohl's down the street but dont think ive ever been in a Kohls; i thought they just sold clothes?

Anyway, i'll at least get some baby food & naked juics, if they sell it.

 

[joeylittle]

My go-to blender meal:
2 handfuls of kale (or spinach)
1 c plain greek yogurt (full-fat)
some glugs of almond milk (but milk, soymilk, oat milk...any kind of milk will do)
Scoop of protein powder
a few dates (for sweetness)
small handful frozen berries

It's good. It's not the only thing you can live on, but it's good.

Water: just drink a swallow between calls at work. Drink a swallow every time you change tasks. Doesn't really matter. I don't go by the bodyweight thing, but I know that if I don't get at least 2L a day, preferably 3, my body isn't happy.

Eating disorder: there's a thing called disordered eating. It's what you are doing. It's not a full-fledged eating disorder. But you are eating irregularly, and you are aware it's an issue.

Hunger: I can tell whether or not my antidepressants are working by whether I can tell if I am hungry - at all. I thought for most of my life that fat people just didn't get hungry. Then I got put on meds, and felt what a hunger signal felt like, and it was a feeling from childhood. As in, I'd not had one for years and years. Currently, I don't have the signal. I am doing my best to make myself take some bites of something every 2-3 hours. It does help.

and yes alba gave good advise about hydration and then jumped directly to assuming i have an eating disorder (which i dont), im too complicated and exhausting, post about one issue at a time, and go hug my dog like eating isnt an important thing. Anyway, moving on, i can ignore too, for a while.

Stop rehashing. It's not helpful, on any level.

i want to eat real food.

@FridayJones really nailed it about the simple foods, and making sure meat is ground up. Also - chew. Make sure you chew the food. Sounds kind of dumb, but helps with chronic constipation, actually.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Cool. Kohl's is mostly clothes, but some housewares and stuff.

 

[Friday]

I dont have a blender but i can buy one. Dont know what i would blend up tho...other than fruits maybe?

Protein shakes... A few ideas below. Mostly on the sweeter side. I don't have my savory ones on this tablet.


Examples of savory ones are less shake, more not-soup :p Carrots boiled in chicken stock with garlic cloves until mushy & puréed. Added bonus swirl in some fresh cream & grate in asiago cheese & dust with nutmeg. Cauliflower au gratin, puréed. Saag Paneer. Mashed potatoes with *anything* mashed into them :p ((have an awesome curry or soup recipe? But want to use a fork instead of a spoon? Add it to mashed potatoes!)) Can use the 'boil any veggie in chicken stock -or beef stock, etc.-' on a whole lot of stuff, actually. Roots are thick on their own, thinner veg can be added to potatoes or another fluffy root to make super flavorful purées. ANY of these purées can be spooned into wonton wrappers, sealed, & frozen to eat later.

Also, to know: While many foods contain protein, a "complete protein" is a complicated structure only found in flesh, dairy, nuts, quinoa/some seeds (rare), & eggs. HOWEVER, Legume+Grain=Complete Protein (consumed together). Any legume & any grain. Rice & Beans, Hummus & Pita, Lentils & breadsticks, sweet red bean stuffed mochi, etc.

Mostly,.. When I'm doing well... I cook a lot of don't have to think about it foods and throw them in my freezer by the bagful. All this stuff is too complicated when I'm doing badly. When I'm doing badly eating ANYTHING is a win. So it's one of those things... Complicated when I'm well, so that things are simple when Im not.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Stop rehashing. It's not helpful, on any level.

Sorry, i noticed it, as always, after i did it. I thought of taking a step back but was trying to figure it out like now. I should of. :sorry:

Eating disorder: there's a thing called disordered eating. It's what you are doing. It's not a full-fledged eating disorder. But you are eating irregularly, and you are aware it's an issue.

I can go w/ that (someone else said it to) and yeah, i knew it was an issue soon after it was happening. Ive never been one to not eat but got way bad in this week to the point that its almost like when i was dealing w/ gall stones & i was living on baby food & boost. Dizzy spells are horrid & the extreme exhaustion is back. The exhaustion has always played itself out but the longest time frame lastes months & it was so hard to balance trying to stay awake at work & still taking my xanax as the anxiety is still there if not worse. Couple that w/ extreme dizziness from not eating & you have what looks like a very drunk person.

Irritation has been through the roof today. Like to the point that my phone wasnt doing what i wanted it to and so i threw it. I hope that doesnt last...

Water: just drink a swallow between calls at work. Drink a swallow every time you change tasks. Doesn't really matter. I don't go by the bodyweight thing, but I know that if I don't get at least 2L a day, preferably 3, my body isn't happy.

Thats a good idea as i can replace the soda.w/ water. Though caffine (however you spell that) isnt good, i have nothing else to keep me awake...and w/ the anxiety still being there but xanax makes me more tired, not sure what else will keep me awake. I have caffeine pills but try not to use them.

Reading that made me remember i left my water in the livingroom and found the table full of empty water bottles. At home at least, im constantly drinking water but still feel dehydrated. Not sure why. That seems to come and go to.

Link Removed really nailed it about the simple foods, and making sure meat is ground up. Also - chew. Make sure you chew the food. Sounds kind of dumb, but helps with chronic constipation, actually.

FJ did nail it, his post was awesome! And chewing doesnt sound stupid, my grandma (dad's mom) used to make us chew our food 10 times before swollowing. I remember i used to be annoyed by it when little lol.

Not sure i have much choice...im chewing it a lot anyway cuz i dont wanna swillow it.

My go-to blender meal:
2 handfuls of kale (or spinach)
1 c plain greek yogurt (full-fat)
some glugs of almond milk (but milk, soymilk, oat milk...any kind of milk will do)
Scoop of protein powder
a few dates (for sweetness)
small handful frozen berries

That sounds good! Ive never had dates before. I dont like spinach, never tried kale but it sounds like you cant really taste it w/ berries? I like to mix blueberries in stuff cuz of their antioxidents!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@FridayJones i just saved those on my phone. THANK.YOU! Thats super awesome. I never even thought of a baked pototoe in the microwave w/ sour cream...i put sour cream in everything (good in mac & cheese, spagettei however you spell that) not a big mashed potatoe person but if it can be mixed that sounds good.

Mac & cheese might be easy to eat.

I want to get some stuff tomorrow morning but cant go get the stuff i need so im gonna have to default to baby.food as walgreens is limited on food & i.cant get.anywhere else before work.

But def gonna get a ton of stuff from those receipes as.soon as i can get to walmart.

Not being able to eat has got to be the most frustrating thing!

I set my alarm i.use to wake me up but theres a bloatware app that came on my phone (Gallaxy S5) thats called SHealth. I.wonder if theres some sort of timer in that i can use. Im gonna look tomorrow.

Thank you for all your help!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I bought the Magic Bullet mini (the one i was thinking of) https://s3.amazonaws.com/bonanzleimages/afu/images/2694/7070/95/magic.jpg

Hopefully its just as good. Was trying to see the speed but couldnt find it. It did come w/ a book of over 100 reciepts so brought it into work to look at. Thanks @Jemini !

Some baby food until i can get more food for the blender. Thanks @FridayJones and @joeylittle for the recipes & great info!

Also bought a Stawberry & Banana Bolthouse Farms smootie, just 1 for the day. Will probably stop each mornung on the way to work to get one. Theres a place downstairs at work, sorta like a gas station food area (snacks, drinks, ready made lunches etc) that has a machine like self pay at walmart. They may have one of the two, BoltHouse Farms or Naked or both. Will look on lunch, didnt have time coming in. Thanks for reminding me about them @ShadowSolace !

Water, what to say about water. I woke up super dehydrated feeling, cotton mouth, which isnt abnormal for someone on opioids but ive been on them since '09 so im not sure what changed unless its just that im not eating. I drank 3 bottles of water before i left for work (3 hrs) & couldnt even drink the rest of my coffee, which is sorta important cuz i cant wake up. I started to forcr myself to drink half of the Bolthouse Farms and its seemed to help some.

I have a bottle w/ me and can fill it up in the cold filtered machine downstairs. I did pour a little soda; have to admit, im addicited to caffeene. Not good i know but i likely wont drink much if at all, when i feel dehydrated i dont want it as it makes it worse so im likely gonna drink water most of the day if not the whole day.

Sorry for being cranky, not being able to eat is the most frustrating thing i can think of & being ive been there once before (though then i knew why) it f*cking sucks! Also i havent been sleeping well. Been waking up a lot from nightmares...

Anyway, sorry guys :sorry: and thank you for all the help!

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Hey FJ and JL, thanks also for all the great recipes. I bookmarked that one post, gonna have to try some of those ideas! :)

 

[Changing4Best]

As a young child I didn't like to eat at all either. Then, later on in therapy I discovered that my grandfather, my abuser, forced me to give him oral sex with oatmeal in my mouth. I have not had problems eating much since we discovered that in therapy. Possibly your trauma has eating related to it somehow?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Possibly your trauma has eating related to it somehow?

My trauma has a ton of eating related things in it. Just not had an issue eating since i moved out til now (other then when i had gall stones but that was medical)

Forced to eat dog food, forced to eat out of the trash, had to 'earn the right to eat' but even then i had to buy it w/ the money they 'let me keep' from forced prostution from 12-18, forced to throw up to 'keep a good prostitute body', forced to drink animal's blood & forced to eat my vomit if i did throw it up, forced to drink straight vinagar (horrible junk) to 'eat the fat', forced to drink so sort of 'tea' made from some sort of mushroom looking fungas, forced to take all sorts of 'vitimans', forced to eat body waste...

Im sure theres more but all i can think of in 5 mins. Sorry if that was too graphic.

I never started any sort of eating disorder, body issue or anything like that after i left and i asked my therapist why and he said cuz it was forced...but i do things now that were forced so i dunno.

Maybe since one of my 'walls' have been taken down and in left w/ new emotions & thoughts that terrify me, maybe. I dont know.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm so sorry that all this has happened to you! What an awful bunch of things to have done to a child. I hope you can find healing in whatever road you choose to take. I hope you are in therapy? I have not read all the notes here nor did I even finish reading your last note here, as I am past my bed time and I need to get to bed. Just wanted to assure you that I care. I pray for your healing.