Can't Sleep In My Own Bed

[Marie999]

Hello everyone! I am going through something quite debilitating, and I thought I would post on here to hear your thoughts. I have not been able to sleep in my bed for about a month now, and it is killing me. I've had so many difficult, distressing experiences in my bed (partly because I'm lazy and have been treating myself and going through things from my bed), that whenever I let my guard down and try to sleep, a million racing thoughts come to my head, and I can't seem to stop it.

Whats worse is when I am about to wake up, this alarming thought comes to my head that I immediately jolt up, have a great deal of tension and pain at the top of my head, and become disoriented. So disoriented that I have to sit in the living room for an hour or two and just stare into space to have my brain calm down and be stable again.

Its so hard for me because I want to sleep in my bed and almost every night I have this battle within myself. Part of me doesn't completely understand why I can't sleep in my bed, and the other part knows that I can't because I have tried and tried in the past.

What would any of you guys suggest for me to do? I know you guys can only speak from experience or from knowledge you've gain, but any input would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Keming]

Sympathies. Losing sleep is miserable, especially when our room might be our 'own place.' I got nothing for the pain.:( But i do some things to reduce or mitigate the anxiety.

Physical things I've done:
- an extra blanket or six. eventually the heat gets to me, but for the first hour it's nice and cozy and pleasant.
- sleep on the floor. Pull off the blankets and comforters and curl up on the floor, to relax or maybe even a quick nap.
- Put on a radio show. TV/Movie is okay, but radio plays are better because you can close your eyes and still get everything. I listen to Old Time Radio Shows from the 1930s through 1950s, from the Internet Archive. It lets me be in bed, and relaxed, and be completely absorbed in something that isn't me.
- Sleep in another room. This doesn't work work if there isn't another room available, but there've been lots of times when I give up on sleeping in my room and curl up on the couch. Sleep is sleep.

Mental things I've done:
- write a list of all the reasons I won't or can't sleep, then debunk everything on the list. Exhaustively, and ruthlessly, until I reflexively sneer at anxious thoughts.
- practice lucid dreaming. It can help with nightmares, and the exercise is quite calming and reassuring. there's a few popular techniques, and a therapist probably has a few more. I do this every night, usually folded in with:
- play pretend in my head! I do this almost every night. It's incredibly childish, and it works for me. New adventures in Middle Earth, or a superhero team, or intrigue in 7th century mythical China (with subtitles, of course). It might take me hours to get to sleep, but it reduces the anxiety.
- on really really bad nights, i close my eyes and have all my 'internal dialogues' spoken by imaginary people. Argue with myself, and watch it all like I'm directing a play. it lets me work out those things, without condemning myself - and i get to do it with my eyes closed, and practice my imagination. And then the imaginary person with the 'Anxious Me' lines gets to dance a jig while he whines and snivels. Maybe they have to sing it like an aria. If my emotions are gonna play with me, then I'm gonna play with them.