Can't talk to t about nightmare

[loui50]

I have nightmares almost every night and usually don't remember them. The one I remember from 2 days ago is this. I was a teenager in the dream. An older man kept slapping me on the butt (something my step dad use to do). I was begging him to stop (something i use to do) and the other teenagers said I should be happy to have the attention of an older man. I couldnt talk about this to t today. It's the first nightmare I actually remember that relates to my abuse. How do I talk about it?I feel embarrassed.

 

[EveHarrington]

Could you write it down and then give it to your T?

 

[loui50]

I could write it down and let her read it. But I'm embarrassed to talk about it. I don't know why I'm embarrassed but any time we talk about my childhood I get embarrassed. I feel like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill I guess. I'm afraid she'll see it as no big deal even though she has never treated me that way.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think that a part of treatment is pushing ourselves to talk about things that are uncomfortable.

I don’t think your therapist will think it’s no big deal.

Could you tell her these feelings before you talk about the nightmare?

 

[loui50]

I know she won't minimize things with my adult brain, but the kid brain takes over and is afraid. If that makes any sense. I need to talk about my past with her, but every time we try it throws me way off.

 

[EveHarrington]

Maybe the kid brain can come forward and say how scared you are?