I sure can relate to a lot on this one. I got my first med in 1998 from the VA in the "ward". I had no idea what I was taking, they just said "take this" and I did. I got out of line and watched the other nuts get their meds when suddenly a wave of calm came over me. I had never felt that way before so I got back in line.
It was the first benzo for me. When I got out, I got up to 7 mg a day of clonazepam plus the other pills they gave me... I cant remember the name of them, but they made me drool and sleep.
I began to cut back on the drool pills and the clonazepam. I began to regress back into the lunatic, but I did need to get out of bed and try to have a life, so it was a hell of an adjustment and eventually I was able to work it out for myself.
One of the things I HAD to do was tell the people who stressed the shit out of me was to leave. Hard to do, but it made a huge difference in my life and I have to believe it made their lives better too.
The side effects also bothered me a lot. Over time I was able to quit quite a few of them including the anti-depressants which just seemed to sedate me. The one thing I noticed about stopping the antidepressants is that I am less numb and more emotional. I do cry when I feel sad about something deep and I do get angry when it is appropriate. Gee, I think that may be normal.
They recently changed the composition of the blood pressure med and I had to stop taking that too. It put me in bed with no energy and I felt weak.
Since I have been able to quit the meds, except for an occasional clonazepam, I am back on my feet for the most part.
Sleeping has always been a bugger for me. I use trazodone and an ambien and with a little food, I sleep like a baby most nights.
There are side effects to all of the meds and there are side effects to not using them too. I made my decisions for myself and I am glad I did.
It is an individual thing.
