Changing ones cognitions, core values and belief

[recoveringfromptsd]

On thing abuse does well is corrupt one's core beliefs and values so that one ends up with negative, distorted cognitions.

Has anyone here had any success into changing these things, and the damage done by abuse?

I would like to know your story if anyone has anything to say on this.

 

[Friday]

Not from abuse, but one of my core values is Admitting to / Showing weakness is wrong.

Okay. Fine. Except that completely nixes getting any kind of help, no matter how wanted or necessary. So what I've been doing is trying to look for the exclusions. Anything. Any time. Any piece of that, which might not be completely & unshakably true. Any kind of edge to get a grip on, or thread to pull.

Working in a team. <<< That's my loose thread. In order to work effectively as a team, there has to be an accurate assessment of strengths and weaknesses. Which gives me another thread -in the form of a core value, which I may or may not have to address at some point, but for now it can f*cking be put to use- to use >>> Hard truths can be gotten through, but lies kill.

So now I've got 2 edges to grip with.

Perfect? Hell no. But it's a start.

Can't turn a weakness into a strength, or work around it, if you don't own up to it. I can work with that.

***

This is what I'm working on at present. Do I have some from abuse? Sure. Sorted. Unsorted. But I really only go after one of these things at a time. This is what I dislike the absolute most, is causing me the most problems right now, so it's what I'm going after.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Friday You have no idea how helpful what you just wrote is, I had never thought about approaching changing my corrupted cognitions by treating the cognition like a current ruleset and looking for the exclusions, exceptions, holes in logic, etc., this approach may work for me, as it forces my brain to acknowledge what is wrong with the cognition. Unlike knowing a cognition is not right, this approach forces my brain to examine the cognition in detail and dispute it.

Sort of like the cognition "No one can be trusted" but ..........

 

[Teamwork]

Is there a way to explain what you are talking about a bit more simply? I have a vague understanding of this as I think we started to examine some core beliefs in therapy until other things took over, now I'm not sure if we are still doing it.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Links I have a particularly difficult to address hypervigilance, while some people freeze or startle or other responses when something presents that triggers there memory of abuse. While I have that too, it's not as severe as I have seen with others. My biggest hypervigilance exists 24/7, and the abuse that caused it also left me with mostly all negative core beliefs and values, most relating to abuse in some way.

This hypervigilance forces my brain to always keep me in my comfort zone, any unknowns drive me crazy, if I can't manipulate a situation to fit my safe zone, then I usually have a crisis, in fact there have been times where I have been hospitalized because of that alone.

In fact when I was at Sheppard Pratt recently, I was forced to deal with a situation that was out of my control and in others control, and left me uncomfortable and really out of my comfort zone where I perceive more safety. The crisis the resulted ended with me in restraints.

So for me my abuse therapy is understanding my triggers in detail, understanding my hypervigilance in detail, understanding standing how the abuse changed my core beliefs and values. So we can change them by addressing the pathway from abuse to core belief and value changes.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Links and what @Friday mention seems like one strategy for addressing that pathway. By invalidating the core beliefs and values and the login used in my hypervigilance a bit at a time

 

[Teamwork]

Ok actually I think I do not know the key word, core beliefs. What is it?

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

right from google

Core beliefs are the very essence of how we see ourselves, other people, the world, and the future. Sometimes, these core beliefs become 'activated' in certain situations. Here's an example: Erica is able to challenge her thinking in most situations.

 

[Friday]

There's a really good thread just ON Core Values / Core Beliefs around here somewhere, but I didn't bookmark it :facepalm: and the search function is down at the moment. So maybe someone else who has it could link it?

This one, though, is also super useful
10 Primary Cognitive Distortions (negative Thinking Styles)

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Friday I have an incomplete list that apply to me, and its 3 pages long. And I discovered most of them come from one period of abuse.

 

[ms spock]

I found reading the David Burns book "Feeling Good" really helped me start to get on top of my distorted cognitions @recoveringfromptsd .

 

[Freedomfighter]

On thing abuse does well is corrupt one's core beliefs and values so that one ends up with...

Very good post, that is most likely what many PTSD sufferers have to deal with....
To change the damage that past abusers have done is very very difficult to do.... especially when recognizing how many such predators walk around and attempt to abuse a victim all over again.
Since my own father was the first predator in my life it is extremely difficult to attack such negative thought processes, have been groomed since childhood and was totally surprised when a predator that mimicked my dad attempted to assault me. It was extremely frightening because it partly showed me how much negative power my own father was able to exert over me... very scary indeed.
It is a constant working effort to fight against predators and what they attempt to make a victim believe

It took me seven long years to understand what these vicious predators attempted to do to me, how their sorry, fat carcasses attempted to drive me to my own death.
Now my brain has arrived at the place where I understand how they abused me and how many dirty tricks they used to first hide that abuse and then how they attempted to discredit the abuse.

But now I want to know more, because now my brain has finally arrived at the phase where I don't know the details of what happened after I finally got rid of the main predator, and I don't know what happened after I reported it.... I know what happened all around me, the additional abuse of lying friends and coworkers... that I know. But I don't know what happened behind the scenes. I want to know that now, it has been long enough that I have not known what went on behind the scenes. How everything developed afterwards, after the reporting of the crime, that I want to know.