Changing The Therapy Environment

[Lady of Longbourn]

Recently my therapist and I had some issues with trust and we are working on those. A thought of mine was to change the environment of therapy and he said he thought of that too.

Does anyone have ideas? There is a bench outside his office that might be a change but does anyone have anymore ideas? Or it might be still in his office and just the approach of therapy...?

 

[Nighthawk]

I have gone to the local park to meet my therapist. We have also changed from therapy to re building trust by playing cards or games or sharing non emotionaly attached photo's such as animals or landscape.

What type of therapy are you in?

 

[Jane.l]

Walking and talking works best by far for me . We have also sat outside a quiet coffee shop - walked by the river - sat on a bench in some pretty gardens - sometimes we swap chairs a lot in his office if I start to drift - we've sat on the floor of his office - it's what ever works best and you are comfortable with I am much happier outside .

 

[BloomInWinter]

Here are the changes my trauma therapist made for me and her other patients...though it required my complaining to the hospital before they would give her the funds to do it (squeeky wheel gets the oil):

• put in more soundproofing
• painted the walls a soothing warm chocolate color
• purchased a new comfortable deep couch with several differently textured pillows, a warm cozy blanket
• added a coffee/tea machine
• added natural decorations to bring in some of the outdoors...geodes, fossils, and plants
• rearranged the furniture so I have a clear path to the door
• turned off the harsh institutional lighting overhead, installed several floor lamps with warm colored lightbulbs and paper glow shades so no glare
• installed an air cleaner
• purchased a white noise machine with different options
• purchased a very nice, thick, natural rug to cover the institutional looking, ugly stained carpet.

The institutionalized look was just not working for me and she assured me, her other patients felt the same way but none of them felt comfortable addressing the hospital directly, unlike me. Since I used to work for that place and still carry a lot of anger and trauma, I always respond to surveys and compliment the staff but ask for environmental improvements. They can't address what the aren't aware of.

I always give the staff a head's up when I'm sending a request up the ladder so they are aware, and I always sign my name so the complaint doesn't get filed under the "oh, well, it's anonymous so probably just a staff member" section.

I knew I needed different lighting, noise controls, colors, textures, and a more natural environment. I'm rather proud of myself for saying so. My different therapists have thanked me for the feedback as it has given all of us a bigger, better waiting room, comfort improvements, etc.

Administrators in their comfy chairs and 5,000 USD desks have no idea what we deal with until someone tells them.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@Jane.l I'm not sure how appropriate I would find a coffee shop to be. I would think that would cross both mine and my therapists boundaries.

We mostly talk through email right now normally once sometimes twice a day. And then we had one 20 minute talk (he is not charging me right now) that was all about trust and about the emails we had been having, where I felt in control and I felt comfortable. Mostly I wanted to see facial expressions. I think those will help too becasue it would hard to re-build trust without talking with the person. I would like to keep trying those.

But we both think there needs to be another step and maybe it's not even outside.

 

[digger]

If email is helpful, but you're wanting facial expressions, something like Skype maybe?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@BloomInWinter I think that has more to do with aesthetically pleasing and comforts rather then building trust back up. :confused:

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@digger It's an idea. He mentioned it. I thought I might find it awkward but it's still an idea. I would actually prefer meeting for smaller session times.

 

[Jane.l]

Why do you what to change the environment ? Are you uncomfortable with the office or being with him ?

Or neither - as you say maybe the approach - is that because you don't feel able to be open with him at the moment ? I am not sure I have got exactly what you want to achieve .

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

When I saw him yesterday I was doing good. It was shorter and I knew what I was there for. But other then that...yes, uncomfortable. In email I feel I can be open. I was able to be angry at the loss of trust. And now that I have been angry we are now talking mostly about things we would be talking about in therapy...trust and my health.

But I want to be able to be open in therapy too becasue I know it's possible and becasue he is worth gaining my trust again. It will take baby steps to get me to that becasue even I know I'm not ready for a full session or even another 20 minute session during what I think is actually his lunch break.

Honestly, if this works out I can see this relationship being better then it ever was and I can see me being a better person for it.

 

[Jane.l]

I have lost trust with my T a few times and it's taken a while to get back on track - I have days where I know I just wouldn't make it there if I had to sit opposite him in his small office - for me walking is good because you talk side on which I find less intimidating and it's less awkward - I find it hard to stay present even if we are top form being outside seems to help me .

It takes time to work out trust issues - email is great for getting stuff out there - but I agree at some point you need to 'see' acceptance and trust - little steps are the way forward , we normally start talking about small issues until I feel we have repaired things - you are right it does improve the relationship once it's rebuilt .

 

[BloomInWinter]

True, but when the environment was constantly triggering me into dissociation I couldn't "stay" long enough to employ my skills.

When I lost trust with my male therapist, it took a lot of gentleness and patience on both our parts for me to learn how to feel empowered to tell him anything, big or small, that I had a problem with. But the more I practiced standing up to him as a skill, it wasn't him that I learned to trust really.

I learned to trust myself and my ability to stand up for my wants, needs, feelings. Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling afraid of him and what he might say to me. I am very glad I did stay, hard as it was, because the process of it has been very empowering to me across all areas of my life.

I no longer feel victimized by rude, invalidating, or ignorant people who I have to deal with. I can face them and speak directly to them in a firm, assertive response. That has truly made a real difference in my life.