I was diagnosed with PTSD over a decade and a half ago. Last year my Borderline mom (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) bro attacked my young son. He was fine, but this triggered my PTSD and lead to the discovery of NPD. We have been no contact with them since.
I then went through a crushing process of pulling all my childhood memories that never made sense back out as this new theory now explained everything. But over a year later of obsessively researching this in NPD forums I need to stop. This rumination has gone on too long and my PTSD is as bad as ever. My PTSD has never been “flared up” for this long. I was wondering why it won’t subside.
I built a business up from nothing over the last few years, and have been struggling to keep it going. Thankful my staff aren’t taking advantage, but the business has suffered. I just need to start healing somehow.
It doesn’t help that the NHS has until recently not “wasted its money” on talking therapies. And that unless you’ve served in the Army in this country ,no one can understand why you’d have PTSD. So unless you’re Army, there’s a long wait for Therapy. Ironically a friend in the Army got access to therapy, and they told him it had nothing to do with the Army, it was his childhood. It also seems hard to find someone with experience of childhood PTSD in this country. My GP says they don’t exist. I did try a private generalist – but they’d never hear of NPD, so it didn’t quiet hit the mark.
For most of my life, I’ve been helping and supporting others. But I think I’ve hit an issue I just can’t resolve on my own (as the U2 song goes). So any tips/advise welcome.
I then went through a crushing process of pulling all my childhood memories that never made sense back out as this new theory now explained everything. But over a year later of obsessively researching this in NPD forums I need to stop. This rumination has gone on too long and my PTSD is as bad as ever. My PTSD has never been “flared up” for this long. I was wondering why it won’t subside.
I built a business up from nothing over the last few years, and have been struggling to keep it going. Thankful my staff aren’t taking advantage, but the business has suffered. I just need to start healing somehow.
It doesn’t help that the NHS has until recently not “wasted its money” on talking therapies. And that unless you’ve served in the Army in this country ,no one can understand why you’d have PTSD. So unless you’re Army, there’s a long wait for Therapy. Ironically a friend in the Army got access to therapy, and they told him it had nothing to do with the Army, it was his childhood. It also seems hard to find someone with experience of childhood PTSD in this country. My GP says they don’t exist. I did try a private generalist – but they’d never hear of NPD, so it didn’t quiet hit the mark.
For most of my life, I’ve been helping and supporting others. But I think I’ve hit an issue I just can’t resolve on my own (as the U2 song goes). So any tips/advise welcome.
