Sufferer Childhood Abuse

[Lucycat]

Hi Minty and welcome to the forum!

I have read all the advice given by the others and have nothing more to add. But - hang in there. It does get better and we are all here to support you. My goodness have you counted up, on this forum alone, how many people you now have on your side?

 

[Minty]

Around the beginning of this month is when I started seeing my therapist. I've self harmed a few times. I don't know what to do :'(

 

[digger]

Hey well that's pretty early on in your therapy then. I think that probably once you've been going a bit longer and you've built up a stronger relationship with him then it will start to feel more helpful. These things really do take time I'm afraid so don't be too hard on yourself for not having made much progress there yet. And remind yourself that you're not the only one who finds it difficult - the responses to this thread show you that.

Can you identify what you are feeling when you self harm? Are you able to work out what function it is serving for you? I'm asking because people self harm for different reasons and working out why you do things can be really helpful in figuring out what to do about it? This would be a good thing to raise in therapy too.

 

[digger]

Can I ask as well what your relationship with your mum is like? I know you don't want to upset her but if she doesn't have the full picture she maybe doesn't realise you are needing more support than you are getting. Or do you have any other family members you are close to?

 

[Minty]

I've self harmed a few times when I got a little too sad, my relationship is good. I don't have other family members I'm close to. I wish I had somebody to cuddle me. I'm really sad and tired :'(

 

[digger]

I've self harmed a few times when I got a little too sad

Did it help? Can you remember how it 'helped' or how it changed how you were feeling? Sometimes people self harm because they can't feel anything and are desperate to feel something, anything. Sometimes people self harm because they are overwhelmed by what they are feeling and need a distraction from it. It sounds maybe like it is the second one for you?

my relationship is good

I'm glad :) I wonder if you could maybe write down some of the stuff in a letter for her to read. Or tell her when you really need a hug even if you can't tell her why? I know that with being at your dad's half the week she's not always available for that, but when you get back home, yeah?

I'm really sad and tired

Can you think about some of the things you used to like to do before you got depressed? I know it's really hard to get up the enthusiasm for stuff when you are, but sometimes making yourself do stuff you enjoyed can help rekindle some of that. Sometimes I have to get a bit tough on myself and really make myself do stuff even though I don't feel like it and it usually helps a while, even if only temporarily.

I have to go offline for a bit now Minty. I'm in the UK and it's evening here and there are things I need to get on with but I will check back in later. Hang in there yeah. It WILL get better.

 

[Minty]

If I think about I don't think self harming did anything except release anger and hatred against myself. Nothing is giving me joy right now, ok... I really need help :'( (((Hugs)))

 

[RdeC]

Hi Minty, I'm guessing by your language you are N American and my knowledge is therefore a little thin regarding established protocol there. I'm stunned that any court is ordering you to maintain contact with abusive adults as this is clearly having an appalling effect on your emotional - and physical - health. Without knowing all the facts it is impossible to know what the best advice would be except to try and impress upon the court making this bizarre order how detrimental their decision is to you - a minor - and perhaps your therapist could help in this respect. I would suggest it is tantamount to abuse to willfully expose a vulnerable individual to an environment that is clearly unhealthy for that person. Any court's primary duty of care must be for your mental well-being.

 

[Minty]

What did I do wrong? I'm sorry I'm so worthless I really am. Please forgive me. I'm trying so hard to be a good member. I'm very scared I'll be abused again :'(

 

[SuperAnxietyGirl]

Hi, I'm 17 and have a lot of the same problems. I was actually just crying about it when I decided to come on here to distract myself. I'm sorry and I hope you find answers.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

 

[Minty]

I'm really upset and I want to cry so badly. My only problem is the tears won't come...