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Choices In Tv Shows?

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Hi everyone!

SO my husband pointed out something the other day that I never realized, for someone with so much trauma history...I watch a lot of "dark shows". Examples: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, Criminal Minds, Steve Wilkos etc. Basically I sit in front of the TV and watch traumas play out in front of me. Is anyone else drawn to this kind of TV programming?

I have been trying to self analyze and figure out why I watch what I watch. Maybe I feel like if there is a show about it...somehow people like me have a voice? I don't know...what do you think?

Thanks for reading!

HealingandDealing
 
I think I watch programs with strong rescuers in them. Most makeover shows fit into that category - someone comes along and tells you how to rescue your childrearing your interior decorating, your weight, your budget or whatever else you're struggling with. It's obvious how Jeremy Kyle, Judge Judy etc fit into that category. I suppose this is me wanting someone else to fix it.

I also watch gentler murder mysteries, which seem to appeal as they offer reassurance that right will triumph
 
I used to watch those shows all the time. Then I realized, it's because they always caught the bad guy and locked him up. They were the "good" guys who really did their jobs. Now, I don't watch any TV. I don't read the newspapers, not even online. I don't want any of that trauma in my home, not even on television.
 
Having a really bad day with this. Not sure what happens or why but sometimes like today I feel quite triggered and badly affected by certain types of tele but feel compelled to watch.

I keep looking at something - become affected - change channel or turn tele off - feel compelled to look at something unsuitable again. Again and again. It looks like no sleep tonight.

Generally though since I started half believing I have trauma in my life I have stayed away from the more triggering ones generally. Used to be addicted to law and order - special victims unit but stay away from it now.
 
I seem to be obsessed at the moment with watching programs like "Most Evil" and "Disappeared" and "Who the Bleep did I marry" or "Stalkers" or programs about serial killers on the Discovery Channel. Although I try to avoid watching the most gory scenes.

I think it is some weird way of me coming to terms with my abuse. Like I never believed myself, like I was to blame, I was always the one accused of provoking and being at fault and being selfish and evil. Truth was it was my mother and my husband who were the narcissitic emotional blackmailers who enjoyed finding my weaknesses and using them to their advantage to control me. But I always was feeling sorry for them that they had such a hard life and it all turned out that they were just horrible people.

I guess I found it hard to believe there are just horrible people who like to abuse and hurt and by watching these programs it sort of confirms that there are lots of horrible people out there and nice people become their victims and believe them and trust them all the time. Not sure that makes any sense but it sort of does in my head at the moment.
 
I watch Criminal Minds, Law & Order: SVU, Disappeared, I Shouldn't Be Alive, Stalked, Most Evil and other crime shows. A part of me feels connected to stories of trauma and suffering. If a person in the show says something that relates to my experience, feelings, or about my abuser, it feels validating.

Sex scenes in tv shows and movies can be triggering for me, and anything that's depicting the sex industry. I try to avoid those, although there has been times we're I've felt driven to look even though I know it affects me.
 
I can watch any type of violence in TV shows. I pretty much do not watch TV at all. The only show I enjoy watching is Biggest Loser. I do like cooking shows, but still avoid sitting down and watching them.
 
I don't really watch much t.v at all, but when I do I suppose i tend toward darker themed shows most of the time, or dark humor though sometimes some intense movies/shows bother me but not always.
 
I am a law & order SVU addict. Hulu+ is feeding my addiction. My family won't let me watch the show around them because they can't handle it. I've only watched one show that sent me reeling. It was the one with Rita Wilson as a guest star. The trauma in that episode was just like mine (only I didn't grow up to kill). I guess the other episodes are just enough dissimilar to not put me in a bad place, but I get a sense of empowerment from them.
 
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