Clarification

[Snowflake]

i was just wondering if anyone could clarify how I am feeling -

Last week in therapy I read something I wrote about abuse at the hands of my parents-it was the second time I read it, first time I was zoned out. This week I have been numb. My therapist called me Tuesday to see how I was, I had no words. I almost feel angry with her....not sure why. She is wondering if we need to do EMDR on what's blocking me from wanting to do EMDR on what happened to me as a child.

I am not sure what's happening inside-I am taking prazosin for the dreams but these past few nights I have had a restless nights sleep.

I am just blah

 

[chant2012]

You're not alone. I can relate. It really is difficult to get a grasp sometimes. All I can say is try and take it slow and be gentle on yourself. This is tough stuff. Sitting with you.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Maybe the anger feels directed towards your therapist because it has to go somewhere and doing the work can be a very angry process. Acceptance is walking through not one but many fires.
Share your feelings with your therapist. You might not be ready yet to face certain things. Building self trust with your inner children is very important and can make the difference between a healthy breakthrough or an unhealthy re-traumatizing. Its okay not to be ready, you have my support whatever path you choose *safe hugs if accepted*

 

[trying2movefwd]

Numb is actually a feeling. It seems strange because we describe numb as not feeling anything.Anyway I have also been in that place. ..for me the restlessness and anger after numbness usually precedes flashbacks...for me anyway, I have been learning to better gage when they are coming.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Perhaps feeling numb is the inability to understand or articulate a feeling. It maybe too many feelings at once and until one learns that numbness is shock and denial they can't see all the tiny threads that need to be gently coaxed out, looked at defined, accepted and validated. All that is seen/felt is this huge ball all tangled into one solid mess so big one has no idea where to start.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

i was just wondering if anyone could clarify how I am feeling

Confusion...;) In all seriousness, this dealing with memories and trying to figure out why you are reacting certain ways is confusing. Also, feeling angry towards your therapist might be a case where you are resentful that you have to work through the memory or scared of facing the memory because the stuff that happened was scary. Process at your own speed if you can. You may be stuck because you aren't ready to fully deal with the memory yet and that's okay, too.