Closure... joke, fairy tale , or possibility?

[Skywatcher]

I think this really comes down to control. I can’t control how other people handle things or think. I try to speak up for myself, but it turns into a stubborn child like argument. Then a bunch of crappy things keep happening to me because I misunderstand others, get triggered or reactive. In these recent events I just walked away. However, I wish that I could have closure, forgiveness, understanding. It makes me really sad. I have no idea how to even approach these people. I wish it could be as easy as it is with my therapist transference stuff. She works through it with me, and though I feel really embarrased about it later and appologize, she tells me that I don’t need to and that everything is fine. We will keep working through it.

Do any of you identify with this? Do you try to make things right even if someone hurt you too? Do your “people” accept your trigger reactions and forgive you?

 

[Deleted member 46752]

I think this really comes down to control. I can’t control how other people handle things or thin...

yes I struggle with these, for me I need to know my boundaries and also stop seeking forgiveness when it will not come

 

[Skywatcher]

@TommySunlight I think the problem that I am having in one situation is that this wasn’t an abuser. She was a close friend, the first that I opened up to about my trauma. To me, forgiveness is a possibility, but part of me just keeps saying to let it go. No closure.

 

[Deleted member 46752]

@TommySunlight I think the problem that I am having in one situation is that thi...

with friends forgiveness is needed so long as they are true friends, however the healing process involves regaining trust for those in your life as trauma can distort those bonds...sending good vibes

 

[Fadeaway]

Yes, I can relate. I am very familiar with misunderstandings. Closure? Not sure it is always possible but the need can go away with time easier than abusive and traumatic relationships.