Codependency Resources?

[Go Hungry]

Does anyone know of any good online codependency resources? Websites, forums, stuff of that nature?

Last night I realized that just because I'm not in a codependent relationship right now, doesn't mean that I'm no longer codependent. I was thinking last night about all my addictions, and how conquering one always seems to result in something taking it's place. So far I've been through pot addiction, (no arguments; some people can get addicted to anything) alcoholism, sex addiction, internet addiction, gaming addiction, gambling addiction, and now of all things, addiction to diet soda. I am taking back my life from diet soda and so far I've got 1/2 of a day in. :clown:

This isn't a piss-take, I'm seriously having withdrawal symptoms. That stuff triggers a dopamine response in me just like any drug I've ever taken. Anyways, back to my point.

As part of all this, I was thinking of my marriage, and how it fell apart. It was her that finally broke and kicked me out because she just couldn't take the chaos of my PTSD and Bipolar disorder anymore. Which was a good thing. Getting kicked out of that relationship was a very good thing, though it scared me at the time. But it didn't hurt me nearly as bad as I expected. I was scared, but not heart-broken.

A secret I rarely tell people is that I never 'fell in love' with my wife. I needed her. I desperately needed somebody to care for me back then, and so did she I think. She definitely loved me more than I did her. Which is horrible, but.. well that's how it was. And I know that we stayed together despite it being an unhappy marriage because we both needed the other one. We were extremely incompatible in some important areas, but neither of us had the courage to leave. I even remember wanting out, dreaming of freedom from it; but still being too scared to try.

At the bottom of this are the same wounds that cause my PTSD, the abuse and abandonment issues that I have from childhood and young adulthood. I think I'm ready to try and give the 'anonymous' programs a try again, and from what I can tell this is the one that would be the best fit for now. (I don't want to get laughed out of a meeting for substance abuse when I tell them I'm addicted to Dew, so I'm probably going to keep that quiet for a while.):D

I tried looking about for some Codependents Anonymous meetings, and even found some in my area; but I was wondering if any of you guys had any pointers, good books, or online discussion pages that you could recommend.

(please, no tomatoes)

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Melody Beattie has written quite a few books on codependency, including Codependent No More and The Language of Letting Go. Some books even have workbooks in addition to a book. Her website is melodybeattie.com.

Like you, I would fit in just fine in multiple different 12-Step programs. Hang in there.

 

[Recovery4Me]

CoDA.org has a complete list of various phone line meetings, E-mail meetings, on-line meetings as well as physical meetings. The on-line one is a little slow right now as people are traveling but you can go to http://www.onlinecoda.net/forums.html

There are some great folks there from all over the world and several seasoned multi-12 step members. As well there is an official book and workbook that can assist.

Mountain Dew addict, eh? I know a few Marines that are that way too! lol

 

[Michelle K]

I think Pia Mellody's book Facing Codependency is one of the best out there for figuring out how to recover from codependence. She really gets to the heart of the problem so you understand how you got this way, and then gives you only a few items to work on that really make a difference. It's not as easy as Step 1, go buy this book, Step 2, open to page 46... but you will have a clear path to recovery. I printed out the steps on a sheet of paper and it hangs right in front of me all day long in my office so I can always be reminded of what the core issues are and what I need to do to recover.