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- #1,189
littleoc
VIP Member
My dad’s best friends seem to always get a little too close to me in weird ways. Obviously the pedophile thing happened, but this was dumber.
I already told the story of my dad trying to get a job in my university, and the police calling me to let me know, and then me asking the police if I should tell my dad that he didn’t get the job. It’s obvious he knew I was there, probably because of that life insurance thing he somehow managed to get sent directly to his apartment from my university (which got undone: if he kills me I’m leaving evidence but it won’t be in a form where he could possibly even slightly benefit from it for even a second), and also because the university is very, very, very selective and only accepts 400 students a year (though the number is slowly going up). Community is obviously small and since the school is the only one in the entire country (or the entire world) to have the land it does (thanks, generous Episcopals during the Civil War), it’s not a place people just happen to look for a job.
Or happen to go to school to.
My dad’s friend Rob suddenly decided he wanted to be a priest, and somhow got accepted into my university one year. Despite his close relationship with my father, there is obviously no regulation preventing that, so I didn’t mention it. I did, however, turn down all the rides my dad offered me to university with Rob. Because my dad was very unwelcome here. And because that was sketchy af. And he’d probably be drunk anyway.
My dad does seem to genuinely enjoy my company when I am near him, and we do share similar options on things (not killing women though, I’m personally a big fan of not killing or sexually abusing people and children), and we do enjoy the same genre of books and movies and TV shows. It’s a shame he can’t be... uh, more normal.
Anyway, it didn’t matter much because Rob got kicked out of the seminary school within the first two years because of a criminal charge that went against the chirch’s views as they were carefully making a very non-Catholic name for themselves. This was the same school that allowed the first female, black, and gay preachers to graduate and write sermons (in that order — there’s a huge story about the black people thing that is exciting to share but I won’t right now, but it involves all the best pieces of a Hollywood drama, including murder of the Bishop by a priest), so they were clearly very careful not to have anything that might ruin that great image.
I heard this story from my father, ironically, so I’m sure parts are wrong, but he told me this:
Rob went to the laundromat wearing only one pair of shorts and a shirt he didn’t need washing. The shorts had a broken zipper, but he felt he could be cool about it. Unfortunately, this woman in the place was going way out of her way to point it out and called the police, who arrested him for indecent exposure.
Obviously when my dad told me that, I assumed he was bending the truth, as always. I happen to know that Rob regularly mentioned things that implied that he felt that he was entitled to women’s sexuality, not in a good or healthy way. And in a way that I’ve never seen anyone but my weird sexist neighbors repeat. I’m guessing it’s rare to be that stupid. Second, I doubt she’d call the police for an awkward occursnce. Third, I doubt the police would have arrested him unless it was indecent exposure.
Not that the system is perfect, just that it makes way more sense that way.
And that’s how my dad’s weird friend stopped asking to be able to drive me to school, but apparently now lives in a house with my dad (Rob’s wife divorced him, surprise surprise) in the same goddamn city as I am currently living in
And for some reason my dad has a dog now despite making it very clear that this is the only animal he would never, ever be willing to adopt. I’m guessing he realized dogs attract ladies just as much as cats do?
I already told the story of my dad trying to get a job in my university, and the police calling me to let me know, and then me asking the police if I should tell my dad that he didn’t get the job. It’s obvious he knew I was there, probably because of that life insurance thing he somehow managed to get sent directly to his apartment from my university (which got undone: if he kills me I’m leaving evidence but it won’t be in a form where he could possibly even slightly benefit from it for even a second), and also because the university is very, very, very selective and only accepts 400 students a year (though the number is slowly going up). Community is obviously small and since the school is the only one in the entire country (or the entire world) to have the land it does (thanks, generous Episcopals during the Civil War), it’s not a place people just happen to look for a job.
Or happen to go to school to.
My dad’s friend Rob suddenly decided he wanted to be a priest, and somhow got accepted into my university one year. Despite his close relationship with my father, there is obviously no regulation preventing that, so I didn’t mention it. I did, however, turn down all the rides my dad offered me to university with Rob. Because my dad was very unwelcome here. And because that was sketchy af. And he’d probably be drunk anyway.
My dad does seem to genuinely enjoy my company when I am near him, and we do share similar options on things (not killing women though, I’m personally a big fan of not killing or sexually abusing people and children), and we do enjoy the same genre of books and movies and TV shows. It’s a shame he can’t be... uh, more normal.
Anyway, it didn’t matter much because Rob got kicked out of the seminary school within the first two years because of a criminal charge that went against the chirch’s views as they were carefully making a very non-Catholic name for themselves. This was the same school that allowed the first female, black, and gay preachers to graduate and write sermons (in that order — there’s a huge story about the black people thing that is exciting to share but I won’t right now, but it involves all the best pieces of a Hollywood drama, including murder of the Bishop by a priest), so they were clearly very careful not to have anything that might ruin that great image.
I heard this story from my father, ironically, so I’m sure parts are wrong, but he told me this:
Rob went to the laundromat wearing only one pair of shorts and a shirt he didn’t need washing. The shorts had a broken zipper, but he felt he could be cool about it. Unfortunately, this woman in the place was going way out of her way to point it out and called the police, who arrested him for indecent exposure.
Obviously when my dad told me that, I assumed he was bending the truth, as always. I happen to know that Rob regularly mentioned things that implied that he felt that he was entitled to women’s sexuality, not in a good or healthy way. And in a way that I’ve never seen anyone but my weird sexist neighbors repeat. I’m guessing it’s rare to be that stupid. Second, I doubt she’d call the police for an awkward occursnce. Third, I doubt the police would have arrested him unless it was indecent exposure.
Not that the system is perfect, just that it makes way more sense that way.
And that’s how my dad’s weird friend stopped asking to be able to drive me to school, but apparently now lives in a house with my dad (Rob’s wife divorced him, surprise surprise) in the same goddamn city as I am currently living in
And for some reason my dad has a dog now despite making it very clear that this is the only animal he would never, ever be willing to adopt. I’m guessing he realized dogs attract ladies just as much as cats do?
