Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[MrMoonlight]

Sending love to you @littleoc . ?☮

 

[littleoc]

Thank you ??:hug:??

 

[littleoc]

So I think I got scammed, lol

Luckily I like to make sure all my purchases are protected so if it still looks scammy after a bit, it’ll be fine (though annoying)

I wonder what profit scamming has typically. Do you use the money before the customer is paid back, therefore stealing from a bank or credit card company instead of the individual? Kind interesting

Also kinda rude though, my sister’s cats really need collars

 

[littleoc]

Also, my false aralia tree was beautiful a lush yesterday, and now suddenly has no leaves and is close to dead. Happened overnight

Kind of dramatic. My best guess is a fungus, no idea though. It was in a temperature-controlled room, with other plants, so while it did get down to 7 last night, it shouldn’t have been felt in the room. Definitely odd

Most my other plants are unaffected, including the ones in the same room. Though, a tree in a different room is showing signs of stress

Odd

 

[littleoc]

I’m probably having dark nightmares because I had to cut back on my Prazosin intake due to a pharmacy/psychiatrist communication error. I should probably try to do something about it, not sure why I was just accepting it

It was a very specific dream, with a very specific setting, and a very specific event. So that’s why seeing it in the news unnerved me a bit. It’s not the first time either, but I’m sure there’s an explanation

For example, the article says that this is a recurring problem in the country this happened in. Due to reasons. The large event and the burning was unusual, but it could be coincidence. Even if it happens often it can be coincidence :)

 

[littleoc]

My mom makes me so angry

I have very little patience for people who disregard an entire science

Sorry you’re insecure about therapy, doesn’t mean you are able to “not believe in it” though. Therapists aren’t supposed to be just curious about a person. They are supposed to teach coping skills and teach a person to NOT NEGLECT THEIR CHILDREN from you’re own personal f*cking problems

Jesus that pissed me off. She wasn’t even talking to me, but I’m angry because she ought to know better (no wonder she’s not been looking for help!) and also she was talking to her kind of gullible sister about how therapy over a dad beating them up was more harmful than good — which it was at the time — but then said that all therapy is bad, yet also said she put three of her kids in therapy?

All kinds of f*cked

I will NOT pay to get this house cleaned if she doesn’t agree to go to therapy afterward, f*ck that

 

[littleoc]

Also, yes. My therapist has been curious before. Shockingly, it’s how she does her job. Getting facts, figuring out where dysfunctional parts are

And then she teaches things

Why would anyone’s situation be so important that the therapist was “only” curious about it and nothing else???

I don’t even know what kind of stupid core beliefs that stupid ass statement came from.

Why am I even angry? Because her stupid ignorance that she doesn’t want challenged destroyed my childhood, f*cking idiot

 

[littleoc]

Probably why she didn’t want to put my little brother back in therapy when he was LITERALLY DYING

 

[littleoc]

How do you make such a stupid f*cking statement!

 

[littleoc]

I mean, seriously. If I hadn’t gotten therapy? Would I have made the same goals? Would I have learned to talk, which I did at about age 14? Would I have eventually noticed that my relationship with Brandi was toxic and not my fault? Would I have known how to challenge suicidal thoughts, which I worked on for ten years before being successful? Would I have managed PTSD enough to consider college?

I realize I’ve been triggered, don’t need to mention it. Brandi said something like this. f*ck people who refuse to get better. f*ck them.

 

[littleoc]

No wonder all my siblings have such stupid opinions on therapy.

 

[littleoc]

My twin brother might have had the chance to learn that he’s manly because he’s a man, but no. He gets told that men don’t get therapy and he f*cking ate that shit up, and his wife is trying to “own him” and my mom is concerned WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERED GIVING HIM ANY INPUT AT ALL INSTEAD OF ASSUMING HE COULD DEAL WITH IT ALONE

Austistic Does NOT MEAN “instant cure from emotions,” f*cking idiot ass neglectful shithead