Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[bellbird]

Very glad you have Noofle working again.

I so wish I could help in some way other than being words on a screen. I can only imagine how overwhelming everything must be for you. I'm glad you've got this space to vent it all out, and be reminded by us how important and brave and special you are.

Are there any extra grounding strategies/soothing strategies we can put in place to try and help with the overwhelm at the moment?

 

[littleoc]

And. I’m not sure? I feel worried that I could lose more control. Or maybe I just feel like I have no control. I tried reading.

My psychiatrist’s office is offering me free therapy but I kind of want to go ask my previous therapist for advice. She was also giving me free sessions but I felt a million times more terrible about it.

I’m worried my dad is going to come by and take pictures.

 

[littleoc]

I have yoga tomorrow. I took my emergency don’t-panic med for the seventh day in a row but I think the dose is too low or something. I got a weighted blanket but my OCD claims I can’t use it yet or something bad will happen. I don’t feel like explaining that at the moment.

If the house were clean and in good condition I’d be a lot less frightened.

 

[littleoc]

My grandma was the second person to clean my room. It is making it really hard to think. She really judged us and talked bad to important people. I think I’d rather not talk about this anymore.

 

[littleoc]

Something positive... I saw friends today and they seem to still like me. I started shaking when they opened the door for me because groups of people are a trigger for me but they stayed quiet and calm and let me re-acclimate. I gave them cookies.

The fact that I was shaking shows that several years of trauma work have been slightly undone in the last year, but I managed it fine and was imvolved in multiple conversations while still looking calm and confident (hopefully).

 

[littleoc]

The many-people thing being a trigger is something a previous psychologist told me I’d get over because I had Nestle. I think she might have been wrong.

 

[littleoc]

I also mostly keep that trigger a secret because it could end up with people avoiding me and me feeling left behind or something. So maybe I should bring it up with someone.

 

[littleoc]

Fun fact: human men can lactate, and it may be nutritious also.

 

[bellbird]

Fun fact: you can't inhale while smiling.

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Just kidding.. I just wanted to make you smile ;) ?

 

[somerandomguy]

My psychiatrist’s office is offering me free therapy

Take it, @littleoc. Give other people a chance to be generous. People have told me that's a mitzvah.

 

[Freida]

Yes -- take the therapy! I think you are doing better than you give yourself credit for simply because you are asking the hard questions. You are seeing these people as they truly are, not how you wish they were. And ya, that sucks. But it's healthier in the long run because you will learn to keep those boundaries up without feeling guilty.

 

[littleoc]

Just kidding.. I just wanted to make you smile ;) ?

Hahaha, thanks :D

And yes, I will take the free therapy. I guess both free therapists...?