Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Just to be clear, the duct is fine and not a hazard or even built “wrong” and there is some metal used, it’s just a funny setup. I’ve seen the same setup used in those giant closed-system Honeywell “ovens” with heat elements chilling inside wooden boxes big enough to walk into. It’s not unsafe or anything lol

 

[littleoc]

I hate the idea of parts. It makes me uncomfortable. I view myself as a frontal lobe (that’s too simple, I know, but I don’t feel like elaborating) that’s well connected to the rest of a brain which is connected to a body.

So let’s just say my frontal lobe is getting mixed messages but is maybe causing them. Some good emotions and some STRONG bad ones.

Currently uninterested in sleep. Trying to remember what my brain’s doing for therapy today.

This isn’t the kind of post I’d normally be willing to write, so I hope I didn’t make anyone uncomfortable. <3

Second post to help me remember soon. I’m frustrated that I’m not asleep, but very happy with the email newsletter I designed. Though it isn’t a template.

At least it wasn’t the gore that upset me. I was relieved he died.

Hm. I must have had a bad dream. And now im frustrated I’m not asleep again. I need to be awake soon. I want to have fun on my day off. This is frustrating and my shoulder hurts and I am somewhat confused which hopefully means I’ll sleep quick.

Wait I remember. Someone needs my help. Not immediately though. Gotta get her out of that house.

 

[littleoc]

Therapy:

Learn how to say no.

Feeling like a failure when working in teams specifically.

Assuming all crushes are probably a bad thing.

Pipes.

 

[littleoc]

The sky is beautiful :) Earth is cool

 

[littleoc]

Oh, happy Thanksgiving, soon, y’all :) and other holidays.

I miss having access to a gym. Normally I’d go to a gym right now

 

[somerandomguy]

Also not a fan of parts. Luckily I found a therapist who feels the same. Does your therapist want to do parts work with you?

 

[Freida]

Parts suck!

I hate the idea that I have imaginary people running around in my head :laugh:
But - I also get why they are there - so that's a step forward.
as for this...... ???

Learn how to say no.

Yes! No doesn't have to be a bad drama thing. It can be a simple thought of "this is not going to be good for ME so it's better I don't do it." Most of the people you say no to will be fine with it. Those that aren't? Are not good for you.

Feeling like a failure when working in teams specifically.

Can you break the team into different tasks and then only take responsibity for the task you are assigned? There is ALWAYS someone on every team who doesn't do their share. That's sadly normal. The challenge is to not take responsibility for what they did or didn't do.

Assuming all crushes are probably a bad thing.

Nope. Crushes are your minds way of saying "hey I like that person!!" and gives you a chance to determine if this is someone you might want to know better. Crushes go badly when you don't pay attention to what you are doing next. Falling all over them, buying expensive presents, doing everything they ask, letting them treat you like crap? Those are the bad things. Enjoying their company, happy to see them, thinking about them a bit when you are apart? Those are the good.

Pipes.

pipes? :)

 

[littleoc]

Does your therapist want to do parts work with you?

No, she hasn’t mentioned anything. So, that’s good, at least.

But - I also get why they are there - so that's a step forward.

It is :) :D

pipes? :)

:(
All pipes. Running or flooding water especially. I tried taking a hot bath a while ago to try to adjust to the fear but the overflow drain made a sound and I also accidentally took a pill to lower bp BEFORE the shower.

Maybe bathing in the shower I have been placed in since a toddler wasn’t very helpful, though.

I need to fix the dishwasher and inspect some pipes by the washing machine — also the washing machine — and it’s giving me so much anxiety.

Can you break the team into different tasks and then only take responsibity for the task you are assigned? There is ALWAYS someone on every team who doesn't do their share. That's sadly normal. The challenge is to not take responsibility for what they did or didn't do.

Yeah. There’s always someone. That actually wasn’t the problem this time though. I’ll elaborate later, if it’s still bothering me.

 

[littleoc]

I am very anxious. I hope Thanksgiving helps.

It’s about money. I couldn’t afford to accept any health insurance or other benefits at work. Also I didn’t even check the mail in time. I’m frustrated.

At work, they won’t train me for anything else, much, and I want to ask why. I’m training someone who is being trained on three different positions at once. I’ve been a manager. But they only want to have me do the same position over and over and over. I don’t think they mean disrespect, but I’m worried they equated disabled to stupid. It’s probably just because they need me in the position I’m in, though. I’m sure I’m truggered somehow. My job is very triggering and it’s not paying me enough to be so stressful. I’ve got to switch. But I like the people I work with now so it’s a little hard.

 

[littleoc]

A little.

 

[littleoc]

I’m also stressed because my dog really needs to retire but I still need to somehow get more room to care for doggo*s* and have money for training, vet bills, vaccines, adoption fees, etc.

If it’s not one thing, then it’s another. I called my dentist office in my undergrad university to ask them when my last set of Invisalign is coming in because I broke my last tray I was to wear nightly. The receptionist (who is a very nice woman, by the way, and absolutely meant no harm and is probably stressed out herself, like all of us humans) said to me, “What, are you stressed? What does a kid your age have to be stressed about? :)”

Anyway, it caused me to remember that none of my goals ever happen the way I intend ENTIRELY because my mom is irresponsible.

That is all.

 

[littleoc]

Oh. Forgot to say. I’m worried all my animals are dying again. I’m very sure it’s mainly in my head. But to be fair, my dog did throw up in a movie theater, after not eating anything.

Unless she ate an M&M while I wasn’t paying attention.

But that is a symptom of kidney disease, which she’s expected to develop, and also her fatty tumor from last year came back but in five different places and who knows, maybe that’s caused a minor blockage?