Combat Causes Ptsd - Wtf...?!

[Wimp79]

Had I known that Combat would have had this effect on me I would have never joined the Infantry, or the Military for that matter.
I completed my tour in Afghanistan in Nov '09, seems like a long time ago, but its just now that things are starting to come to the surface.
I have kept my memories well locked in a safe dark box somewhere in my subconscious. I would speak with my therapist directly and to the point. Very rarely crying.
Now the evil has seeped out of my subconscious and is attempting to take hold of my reality, twisting it all into a something that not only do I not understand, but don't want to understand. Wanting it all to go back to that dark place, where I was still able to think clearly and feel somewhat safe..... Before putting on this 50lbs of fat....... before when I was sane...... and now here I am..... trying to find my way.......

 

[Jimmy1]

What can I say but welcome to the forum and welcome to PTSD mate.

Had I known that Combat would have had this effect on me I would have never joined the Infantry, or the Military for that matter.

Mate, Combat does not have this effect on everyone. Some people can do dozens of tours and show no effects from the horrors of battle. The same can be said for Police, some of them often get into firefights and see the results of car wrecks and every other sick and twisted murders out there, and some of them are not rattled, yet others go to pieces.
It took till my second tour to start showing symptoms, but I was deployed again three years later and it was after that deployment in 06 that the beast grabbed hold.

Before putting on this 50lbs of fat....... before when I was sane...... and now here I am..... trying to find my way.......

A lot of people with PTSD lock themselves away in that safe place. They go from exercising 6 or 7 days a week and eating a mountain of food, to locking themselves away and still eating a mountain of food. They put on weight and that is depressing in itself.

Change your name mate. You are not a WIMP, you served your country. You have to grab this beast by the horns and deal with it. It's hard, but nothing in life that is good comes easy.

We are all here for you.

Jimmy

 

[Jimmy1]

And mate, we all know how you feel, and we all know where you have been. We may have been in different combat zones and different scenario's, but PTSD is PTSD.

Ask anyone a question and we will try and answer it or if not, we will find out.

 

[Shadowtao]

Have to agree with Jimmy.
Get treatment man! It will really help a lot.

 

[medic5]

Welcome aboard. This is a great group, we are all in the same boat and know where you are coming from. I agree with Jimmy, you need to change your name. Anyone who can survive military life is not a wimp. Just because the beast gets a hold of you, that doesn't make you a wimp. It just means we are human with feelings and emotions. I too gained extra weight, This in turn makes me feel disgusted with myself. But, we can do things to get rid of that extra weight, workout at home, play with our pets.
Get treatment, come often to this site, ask and learn from others who are facing the same beast. We are in this together.

 

[Fargo1]

Welcome to our dysfunctional group here Wimp79. I think it is safe to say that everyone here has been or is where you are right now. As you are here, it is time to do something about it! The good news is that it is a hard road to haul, the better news is that we are all here to help carry the load.

So slide a cheek in, read as much of this place as you can stand, because you will find some gem in here that helps you out. Bitch, rant, rave, joke, and council as you will.

 

[tho9900]

I have people here I look up to as mentors with this, people I actually consider friends for their kind words and msgs wondering if I am ok if I seem off key in a post, people that make me laugh... some make me cry but that is a very very good thing now and again... there's all sorts here, yes we are all dysfunctional... but this is the best damn unit I ever served with right here on this forum...

 

[reddevil1111]

Welcome and please, read the posts in here. I know reading helped me to understand myself better and to cope with the feelings and depression as well as anger/rage. Just be sure to do it in small chunks. To much of this site can be harmful and trigger you to be in a worse place. Baby steps if you can. Glad you made it to here....this is a safe and productive place to help you figure out what PTSD means for you. Semper Fi! Red.

 

[Lee C]

All the above and welcome if i have missed the intro bit. If i have it was PTSD's fault.
In my case would it of changed my mind, seeing as all my family history revolves about wars and combat. Got to be honest and say no. Would do it all again

 

[Anglesachse]

Welcome to the fold 79 mucker.

Had I known that Combat would have had this effect on me I would have never joined the Infantry, or the Military for that matter........

Guess I have to rattle the cage abit. Like Lee I come from a Military background. Whole family has been Mil at some time over the generations.

And even thought I have the beast to keep me company these days, I would be straight back in green if they would have me back. (Just waiting for WW3 or a Civil War that is local enough to call my back yard)

Only difference is, I would get help sooner rather than living 13 years with it with out knowing.

It`s not an impossible road ahead, Bumpy yes, and f*ck it pours from time to time aswell, so we get wet and get thrwon around a bit. But you get on with life. and there are plenty of us on the road to help you along.

 

[medic5]

I agree with Lee and Angle, I would do it all over again. Only third time around I would seek help after each mission. I am proud of my time in the military. I learned a lot about myself ( such as I am not a loser), what makes a true brother or sister. Despite the beast I think the military helped me to become a better person.I am stronger than the beast. IT might win some battles but this is a war I will win. Guess I shouldn't watch Patton before posting:)

The way the world is going WW3 might be just around the corner.

 

[armyvetwolf]

Welcome Wimp79...i too gained weight partly because of depression and PTSD and the rest leftover from my second child coming out of the military...been able to maintain a certain weight now but could always lose more, just have to get back into that routine i was used to so many years ago!