Combat Vets And Cheating.

[GailAV]

I dont know how true this is, or common, but is there a real connection between combat vets and cheating?

 

[shimmerz]

And do blondes really have more fun? If so, I feel ripped off.

I am not certain what the link is, in some people's head, about combat vets and an inherent lack of sexual morals and values. Somehow I feel like the two are entirely different subjects, but that is just me.

 

[Purplemunchkin]

And based on a number of threads within the supporter section I get the impression that some ar$eh*les use their PTSD as an excuse for cheating.

 

[Peach]

My veteran despises cheaters and would never consider doing it in a million years.

 

[shimmerz]

Ar$h$les are all about the excuses.

Listen, I used to faint on the spot. PTSD reactions were the reason, not the excuse for such behaviour. I think a reason is something that the sufferer actions on, whilst the excuse is something that is used to deflect poor behaviour.

BTW, I had two partners that cheated on me. And they showed me no mercy. And they were not combat vets. They blamed their cheating on everything under the sun - except them.

Not all men cheat. Not all women cheat. Not all PTSD sufferers cheat. But if the ones that do cheat blame it on something (anything) except themselves, then it is their cowardice to face themselves that is the problem. Nothing else.

 

[Lucycat]

Of course there is a connection. Combat veterans are human aren't they? Humans cheat.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Combat Vet, PDSD sufferer or any traumatic experience does not give anyone a free pass. What we do as adults, we are responsible for.

Cheating, drinking, using drugs, harming others, the list is endless because we can be very creative in ways to f*** up.

We still have to pay the price for our actions and if we are really lucky, we'll learn from them in a way that makes us better people.

If no constructive lesson is learned and there is no positive change in behavior, be on high alert for the train wreck that's bound to happen.

 

[Sweetpea76]

No more than anybody else.... My vet hates cheaters, by my ex husband,who was Army as well, was a cheater. Some people are just cheaters in general.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

And do blondes really have more fun? If so, I feel ripped off.

I am not certain what the link is, i...

You and me both lady! :tup:

 

[shimmerz]

You and me both lady! :tup:

Damn! I HATE being the exception to the rule. It is a dubious distinction to be in the 'no fun blonde' club @Kara.m , but let me be the first to welcome you!

 

[caligirl03]

I've learned from the VA that this common misconception has more to do with some vets lacking healthy coping skills after all they've experienced. They've been to hell and back and have been taught to stuff away all they've seen and done, as a good solider must carry on with the fight ahead of him and not look back. While this mentality might serve them in the battlefield, in a civilian context, all the sh*t that's been buried eventually makes its way to the surface and manifests in some way or another.

Some vets, not knowing where to turn for help or simply not wanting to get it, instead resort to more destructive ways of helping numb the pain-whether drugs, alcohol, or meaningless sex- even if it's just to forget it all for even a moment. Sometimes the family unit can already be compromised after returning home from a deployment, and with so much discord both within the family and within the sufferer, the unbearable amount of strife for all involved can set up sort of the "perfect storm" of circumstances for things to head south.

My combat vet cheated just once on his then-wife who he was already separated from, and he swore that no matter how f*cked up he ever happens to get in the head again, he could never do that to anyone ever again. It's been over 10 years, and he hasn't done it to anyone again since. So yes, sometimes good people who are in really bad places can make mistakes. What counts is what they learn from them.

And the VA is also doing a lot of hard work attempting to steer vets towards healthy and lasting forms of healing that are beneficial for both them and their families. I hope and pray that they continue to do the hard work of helping vets find emotional freedom, and that vets know and understand that they are NOT alone and that there is SO much help readily available that will help save them and their families.

 

[GailAV]

Should have clarified combat vets w PTSD. It seems like there is a whole lot of stories about a partner who is suffering from PTSD starting an affair of some sort. Partners who say their significant other was never a cheater until they came back from combat. The trauma changes the person and they cant live the same life they did prior to combat. They try too, cant handle the pressure and then cheat???