Comedy - Welcome To Doctor Doppemhiyer's Clinic! (lol)

[JohnnyM53]

Dearest Gina Shitsheesbak,

Thank you so much for your endearing thoughts about my “services”.

I agree – you should move on and now, and because you have ABP (agora-buckeye-phobia) in you, vile they have an APB (all points bulletin) on you.

I am so proud of you though! You have graduated from head “cash”ew, to being in “charge” of your life. You are “dealing” vit life in and can now “afford” to “change”. This is especially good news for someone who was on the “Brinks” of a breakdown.

I assume since you didn’t mention it that you aren’t experiencing “withdrawal” symptoms. So it sounds like you're - as Johnny “Cash” would sing -“on the “roll” again.”…or vas that road?

Say hi to Bill, Penny and if you see her, “Deb It”, for me please.

Sincerely,

Doc DVD M.D.


Bcc. Nurse Ratchet – please file on UFO file, and “federally reserve” an appointment for Ms. Shitsheesbak.

PS: No Starbuckee??? Is it my nose? My hair? :dontknow:

 

[JohnnyM53]

FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT
OFFICAL MICKEY MOUSE CLUB
​

November 25, 2009

Doctor Derek von Doppemhiyer,
On-Line Consultatons Clinic
Swiss Psychiatric Unit
Switzerland

Dear Doc DVD,

First, allow me to congratulate you on the official opening of your on-line clinic.

I wish you joy and success as you continue your work in helping those deemed hopeless cases.

Second, it is with much chagrin that I, as President for 50 years, must share some sad, sad news with you, a long time member of the Mickey Mouse Fan Club.

Unfortunately, and as was recently reported in the news, it's true. It's all over. It ended. It's final. That's it.

Minnie Mouse broke up with Mickey last week.

The reason is, according to our sources, alleged infidelity.

According to a spokemouse, Minnie apparently overheard someone say that Mickey was effin Goofy.

Understandably, Minnie was heartbroken and devastated, has filed for divorce, and left the mousehole, refusing to share any more cheese with Mickey.

We hope that this message will not be too devastating for you. :eek:

Should it be, please simply take your black ears off, get rid of the tail, switch channels, and by all means, get yourself into therapy.

Sincerely,

Annette Full Of Jello
President

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dear Nurse Ratchet,

You seem distant lately. How are things on the homefront? Did your mom get her dentures fixed? I care you know..."big" time.:thumbs-up

Feeling troubled? Perhaps we could chat...over a great cup of coffee...and see what comes "up"??

Perhaps I have not been paying attention to all that hard work you've been doing for the clinic. :crazy:Time for a "raise"??

Did you finish your Crunchy yet??:dontknow:

Yes? No?

Please talk to me....:wall:

 

[amethist]

I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT.

Why did you not tell us you had made a video for us to use so we could get the music right.

It is at metro.co.uk/muppetqueen For all of us who need to get it right.

Thank you so much for supplying an instruction video for us to follow.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Amethist

 

[JohnnyM53]

LOL

Thanks for sharing!

...any way the wind blowssssssss

 

[JohnnyM53]

Oh I get it - it's the Hopeless Cases Electronic Orchestra!

lmao

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dear Doc DVD,

I write to you at the urging of my inmates and parole board officer.

They keep telling me I am suffering from some form of mental illness because I keep telling them I'm the new Messiah.

I am often told by God to disbelieve them for they do not know what they speak about.

So I would like you to assess me so that, once and for all, you can help me prove to these people that I am neither sick nor delusional.

Would you be willing to provide an on-line consultation?

Naturally, being in prison means I cannot pay you. But if you say three Hail Charlys, your wish will be granted. Perhaps there is someone "special" in your life, say...a nurse maybe??

Insanely yours,


Charles Manson
San Quentin

 

[JohnnyM53]

PRIVATE AND PERSONAL

Charles Mason,
San Quentin

Attached is a blank copy of the Minnesota Multi-Phasic Personality Questionnaire for you to fill out.

Please complete and return to me.

Sincerely,

Doc DVD


Hail Charly; Hail Charly; Hail Charly…come on Babe Ratchet!

 

[JohnnyM53]

PRIVATE AND PERSONAL

Doc Doppemhiyer


Attached is the completed copy of the Minnesota Multi-Phasic Personality Questionnaire you asked me to fill out.

I eagerly await the result of your assessment

Sinnercely,

Charly

PS: who’s the Ratchet babe?

 

[JohnnyM53]

PRIVATE AND PERSONAL

Charles Mason,
San Quentin

The results of your Minnesota Multi-Phasic Personality Assessment are now in.

According to the results, you suffer from a major delusion of grandeur – often referred to as the Jesus Christ Complex.

The symptoms associated vit this disorder convinces the sufferer that they are all- powerful, all-knowing, all loving and the test results are never wrong. And as we both know Chuckee, you certainly aren’t any of those things.

I run group therapy classes for hopeless cases. Unfortunately, you do not qualify for therapy, as in my opinion, you are beyond all hope.

However, I do encourage you to seek help through heavy dosages of medication to help you sleep long hours and calm that mind of yours.

Back in you go Chuckee.

Sincerely,

Doc DVD

 

[midi]

Dr. Doc,

My cat has been really sing-song-ish lately. I can't get him to stop singing. He sits outside my office door and sings until I want to SCREAM. Can I send him off to join your orchestra? He clearly has some sort of er, issue. (whatever the hell it is, it doesn't jive with my PTSD)

Thanks,

Exhausted and Frustrated

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dear E&F

Your cat is signing because it has the blues. It is suffering from meowlancholy.

I believe it would benefit from musical therapy for hopeless pusses.

I will assign it a seat with the Philadelphia Sym-feline-ee Orchestra, teach it to play the catsophone, rehearse the song Stay Cat Strut, and all should be good in a few months.

Sincerely,

Doc DVD


bcc - Nurse Ratchet...I think I am developing a deep liking for you. You feel the same? Yes? No?

xo