Comedy - Welcome To Doctor Doppemhiyer's Clinic! (lol)

[a3a2]

Yes, PTSD is real. But a colon cleanse will take it right out of you.

Oops....gotta go!

 

[Grainne]

Hahahaha a3a2!!!!!!!

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dearest sbump,

Funny bones can be purchased at any joke shop or politician's office.

However, if not in supply, please contact the Canadian Space Agency. If they can build the Canada-Arm for a space station, I'm pretty sure they can make a funny bone.

As for installation, regretably I am not a surgeon, so I'd recommend the professionals - WalARMT.

That said, I'm a psychiatrist/psycholanalyst specializing in musical therapy for hopeless cases. So if, like Grama-Herc, you aren't certain if you have a sense of humor, please attend one of my classes. I'm certain you'll laugh when you hear them play.

Ah-ah-ah-ah, "play"! Sorry, I'm thinking of the students on "keyboards".

 

[JohnnyM53]

Note to A3A2,

I believe you are referring to Post Traumatic Stench Disorder.

Regards,

Dr. DVD

 

[JohnnyM53]

Note to Grainne,

STOP laughing!!!! (stern look) It ain't that funny. It fact, it stinks!

ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!!!!!!!

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dear Doc DVD,

I'm in my mid 40s and have been struggling with alcohol now for 25 years.

An addiction specialist told me that the only solution for me is to have the right and left hemispheres of my cerebral cortex disconnected.

I'm sure you can imagine how discouraged I was to hear this. I've pretty much decided to not take her advice and just live with my condition.

But a friend told me I should seek a second opinion. Since you specialize in hopeless cases, I was wondering if you mind sharing your thoughts?

Sincerely,

Ryan Coke
Alaska


Dear Ryan,

Quite the name you have there, considering you're condition.

It's always good to get a second opinion. I think that if you proceeded with the neurosurgery, you'd feel a bit disconnected.

That said, sounds to me like you'd rather have "a bottle in front of me, instead of a frontal lobotomy".

What can I say?

Should I be wrong, please make an appointment with my office, and we'll see if we can squeeze you into the orchestra.

 

[sbump]

What’s the cost to attended this class of your and by the way do we have to have a sense of rhythm if we have no sense of humor because I am in desperate need of both. Can you please help Doc.?

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dearest sbump,

Attendance is free and all you need is a sense of hopelesseness.

You'lll develop a sense of rhythm while learning to master your instrument and a sense of humor when you listen to the recording of your performance.

Regards,

Doc DVD

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dear Doc DVD,

My wife says I have memory problems.

I've heard of different methods to test or help it, but I worry about permanent loss of memory, if any, as a result of testing or treatment.

If I schedule an appointment with you, what's the first thing you will make me do?

Sincerely,

Ike Cantree Member


Dear Ike,

The first thing would be to get you to pay my bill in advance.

Please schedule an appointment and and don't forget to schedule an appointment.

Dr. DVD

 

[becvan]

Dear Dr. DVD:

I seem to have.. um.. what was I saying again? Oh right.. I have this little problem. Wait. I forgot.. what problem was that again? Oh right.. I can't remember.. darn it! #$%* it all! *breathes* I CAN'T REMEMBER.....................WHAT TRAIN ....................THOUGHT... I'M.... ON....

Please... um... Help.. Right that was it.. need help.

Unknown (forgot my name)

 

[JohnnyM53]

Dear Unknown,

What problem?

Sincerely

DVD MD

bcc. Nurse Ratchet: please file under "delay tactic"

 

[JohnnyM53]

Therapy

Dear Doc DVD,

It is with much hope that we hope you can squeeze us into your current musical therapy class for hopeless cases. We are maternal twins (all our lives) and we are 58 years old.

You see, we've both been diagnosed with panic attacks. And the weird thing is, they are only triggered when we go to the bathroom. Because of the high levels of anxiety, we immediately,...well...let's just say we have to change clothes often.

It's so embarrasing and nerve racking in public, and we've lost all hope of leading normal lives. No matter what we think, read, try or who we see (therapists, doctors), we can't deal with this problem effectively.

Can you help us?

Yours truly,

The Soggeybottom Sisters


Dear Soggeybottom Sisters,

I can appreciate your frustration vit living with this particular problem.

I suspect you may be both suffering from congenital fart failure. As a result, things get a little messy and unpredictable.

But there is hope! Let's meet and talk and if my preliminary diagnosis is correct, I'll squeeze you both in my therapy class and you vill learn to play the twinpani (kettle drums), where your experience with "rolls" will come in handy.

And the song you vill learn to practice is Stuck On You by Lionel Ritchie. (yuk-yuk-yuk).

Please call Nurse Rachet of my office to schedule an appointment at your earliest convenience.

See you soon,

Doc DVD MD