Comfort Eaters Of The World - What Else Works?

[Sandstone]

For fairly urgent health reasons I need to reduce my comfort eating, and in particular to change the sweet / salt / sweet / salt alternation. I was working on slowly reducing my weight, but now I have to cut down significantly on salt and focus on the loss of at least three stone, ideally five. I had been assuming that eating was a fairly harmless bad coping strategy, and certainly better than my other main bad technique of sedating myself with antihistamines. I don't smoke, and dislike being drunk, so those two aren't either options or issues

I know that eating calls me most when I am focussing on working on myself. In particular, journaling is always punctuated by breaks to pace about the house and then go and eat the next thing in the cycle. It works, because it is comforting and soothing, and possibly because it is one the few physical aspects of myself I'm in touch with.

What else works?

 

[mary1979]

I wonder could it be as simple as choosing a food with little consequences?

Sunflower seeds or popcorn come to mind.
So you're nibbling but not suffering the calories.

Seems almost too simple that you wouldn't have already tried this though, so apologies if that's the case.


When I quit drinking, I replaced my habits with an exercise bike.
20 km ride, alternating between a gentle pace to a heart racer for a few ks in between.

It was a simple distraction, however my lazy backside eventually said bugger that and now I distract myself by sitting on this site in my free time and smoking too much.

One habit at a time, ill get there aha

 

[joeylittle]

Chewing gum, if you want your mouth to be busy. Keeping a big bottle of water around at all times and taking a swig when you feel like having something. sugar-free mints. And taking up knitting helped me a lot, to have something to do with my hands when if I was watching a movie.

 

[Sandstone]

I'm trying to work out what it is about comfort eating that works for me. Looking at your suggestions is helping to focus that thought process, so thank you.

The nibbling and keeping my mouth busy are not the thing, I think it is more about feeling full, or preferably over full. It seems to be a very physical thing. I visualise my cat when he has killed and eaten a rabbit, and is snoozing contentedly with a huge belly. The fulness switches my brain off, I think. There is also the sugar rush.
I feel as though I can only tackle thinking about the hard stuff if I have that cushion of organic satisfaction.

Maybe drinking even more would help. I might get the full feeling, though that is more transient. I'm supposed to up my fluid intake anyway, so it certainly won't hurt to try.

I haven't found exercise to be helpful generally, as it allows my brain to carry on with whatever it was doing. And even when i was fit enough to do a 10k run, I never experienced the mental benefits that are supposed to go with it. I think I either don't generate the endorphins, or don't register them, much as I don't recognise "full", only "over fullI, belly straining". I did like looking at the wildflowers though. I'm trying a Tai Chi class, and that is good distraction because it is so new, and so hard to co-ordinate myself. But I fight every week not to run away.

Please keep the suggestions coming.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

I have a nalgene sports water bottle. It holds 32 oz, but can hold 1L as well. Water (and maybe some of those "water enhancers" i.e. water flavoring) is pretty nice; 64oz a day keeps me full as I drink it gradually throughout the day. Also 64oz is kind of the lower end of the spectrum for healthy water drinkage; ideally for me it should be a bit more, even with all the water that one normally gets just from food.

I am with you on the full-feeling. It is a good feeling. Water helps so much with this.

 

[ghotiff]

Great thread.

Hot cup of tea is my suggestion. Making it gives me something to do (takes some time) then drinking it slowly (can't gulp it, it's hot). I find hot fluids far more satisfying than cold ones.

If you also crave sugar, you could start with sugar in your tea (maybe even too much) and then slowly reduce it. Have it with a few biscuits, and again over time have less of them.

You could also try a delay tactic. Eg when journaling, before you eat do something first eg clean the kitchen counters.

 

[barefoot]

I was going to suggest a delay tactic too - I've heard people ("experts!") recommend that, when you want to eat something, tell yourself you are going to wait for, I think, 10 minutes. If after that time you still really want it, have it. But the idea is that the delay can work and make the desire pass. There is apparently science behind it....something significant about it being (I think) a 10 minute wait but I can't remember exactly. Presumably, the idea is also probably that you try to distract yourself during the wait time too...not that you just sit there obsessively counting down the minutes until you can have a few hobnobs ;-)

And I agree with @ghotiff about consciously trying to break up any habit/ritual that has been created around certain activities eg the journaling. What new ritual could you choose to put around it instead that might help with that?

Also, yes, you could try replacing food with fluids. Knock back water (infuse with fresh lemon and lime/cucumber/mint/berries etc to make it more interesting! You could see if hot drinks create a more/less satisfying sensation of "fullness". I guess the potential pitfalls that you might want to avoid with hot drinks are increasing sugar levels (if you take sugar in you tea and coffee or if you're thinking of hot chocolate/malty drinks) because that won't be great if you want to lose weight. Also - if you up your tea/coffee intake, you might want to be mindful of increasing your caffeine intake. Of course, there is decaf tea and coffee plus herbal and fruit teas :-) Do you like drinking hot water? I find it very soothing and it's really good for your digestive system. Might be worth a try. Carbonated soft drinks may help you feel more full. Sparkling water the healthiest option. Cola/other fizzy drinks probably not so healthy, but you may still consider them better than unhealthy foods, I don't know? You might feel too bloated if you drink too much gas though...!

I know you said exercise doesn't really help. You could perhaps try a delay tactic of going for a walk? So, you fancy eating whatever and you decide to go out for a walk and to listen to some music that makes you feel good or an audio book while you walk, to focus your mind on something else and put physical distance between you and the food in that moment. Doesn't have to be a long walk or a power walk.

If you have the willpower for it, you could commit to going cold turkey on sugar. Not full-on, hardcore completely giving up all kinds of sugar, but really cutting down on very sugary processed "treat" foods and drinks. You'll probably have a rough first few days and get some withdrawal symptoms (headaches, lethargy, moodiness, cravings etc) I find that if I last the week that seems to get all the sugar out my system and then the cravings just stop and I really don't especially want sweet things then.

Don't know if this makes any sense at all but it popped in my head so I'll just add it to the mix - do you think there's any way that you might be able to replace the "fullness" with something non-physical? So, can you feel "full" in other ways? What else "fills you up"? Doing something creative? Being outside in nature? Stroking an animal? Laughing? So, filling the emotional need without physically filling your body?

As an aside, though I think it could still be relevant to you - I realised only fairly recently that I generally had no idea when I was hungry or when I was full...I only really registered when I felt starving (because I'd gone a day without eating) or when I felt really uncomfortably full (eg after a really massive blow out meal like Christmas dinner or something). This realisation emphasised for me how disconnected I am from my body most of the time. I read Susie Orbach on Eating and found that really interesting...it really made me think about how and why I eat and it shifted a few things for me. I made some very simple changes in habit after that and lost quite a lot of weight - through conscious eating rather than dieting or depriving myself. Something in that book just sort of clicked for me and made me think about things a bit differently.

Good luck! It's great that you're choosing to look after yourself :-)

 

[sun seeker]

The nibbling and keeping my mouth busy are not the thing, I think it is more about feeling full, or preferably over full. It seems to be a very physical thing. I visualise my cat when he has killed and eaten a rabbit, and is snoozing contentedly with a huge belly. The fulness switches my brain off, I think.

There's truth to this. To digest the parasympathetic nervous system has to take over. That by definition takes us out of fight or flight. So I guess the answer would be to replace it with some other activity that switches on the parasympathetic nervous system.

Umm... somebody? I've used up my words of wisdom for today.

 

[Sandstone]

I already drink tea in huge quantities using a pint mug, and am supposed to up my liquids even more, so I will be doing that . I don't think I could bear sugar in tea, I've never liked sweet drinks, so squashes and fizzy drinks are out.

I don't buy biscuits, because even when I'm not in a binge I can't stop at one or two. Half a pack of digestives contains more than one third of my daily allowed sodium content, so they are definitely out.

Delay is an interesting one, and I'll need to think about how to make that work. I suppose the essence of why eating works is that It doesn't require me to stop thinking about what I'm working on, it makes it bearable.. Isn't that part of how processing works? I've forgotten the word, but alternately approaching, then moving away to keep distress in manageable bounds. I suspect the comfort eating/over full belly goes right back to babyhood. There is that idea that for a baby the world is coming to an end when there is hunger and no mum to resolve it.
So if I just delay and distract, I don't know if I'll go back to whatever I'm working on.

I know I should go for a walk, but I'm scared, and times when I've tried to do it alone have started with a big binge eat to get over the fear. I used to walk for miles, and love it, but having been *** while out walking alone, I'm not able to tackle that. I wish i could, but having got it so wrong I don't trust myself to judge who or where is safe.

I have completely cut out sugar from my diet in the past. I didn't find it particularly hard, but that was pre-PTSD. It was also pre-husband. He has a very sweet tooth, and we have to have a pudding every day. I've always preferred savoury food, but now I have to start to be very strict on salt that is complicated. For me, a total ban on things is easier to manage than moderation. I've lost nearly a stone in the last 9 months, first by experimenting with the 5:2 diet and then settling on not eating until midday or 1pm most days. Knowing that I just won't eat is much easier than trying to regulate my eating. I'm sure that all or nothing says something about why I have PTSD too.
I have looked at the idea of conscious eating, but every time I find that once I have eaten at all, all I feel is hungry. I aw an article last week that there is a genetic mutation in many Labradors that does this. Obviously my dog and I are alike!

do you think there's any way that you might be able to replace the "fullness" with something non-physical? So, can you feel "full" in other ways? What else "fills you up"? Doing something creative? Being outside in nature? Stroking an animal? Laughing? So, filling the emotional need without physically filling your body?

To digest the parasympathetic nervous system has to take over. That by definition takes us out of fight or flight. So I guess the answer would be to replace it with some other activity that switches on the parasympathetic nervous system.

Yes! I think these are the way to go. But I'm a bit stuck on what might work. I find the idea of something being emotionally "filling" quite alarming - it's rare for me to feel tearful, but that does it.
Any ideas, anybody?

 

[barefoot]

replace it with some other activity that switches on the parasympathetic nervous system.

The two key ways to stimulate the PNS are diaphragmatic breathing and meditation.

For me, diaphragmatic breathing exercises are really effective and I've grown to really enjoy doing them. At the moment, I generally breathe in for 4 hold for 3 then breathe out (like you would if you were blowing out a candle) for 6 - unto the beats pretty slowly. I've seen some people here say they can't do these sorts of breathing exercises as they get too panicky focusing on their own breathing. If this applies, I wonder if you can perhaps add another sensory element to focus on to lower the intensity - eg do it to music or use something visual with it. I know there are things online where the idea is that you sync your breathing to an image moving on the screen - this may just be enough to to distract the focus from your breathing/body while still being mindful?

Again, with meditation, you can try adding a visual or aural element (or even a touch one - meditate wrapped in a heavy blanket?) if the lack of other stimuli makes meditation too difficult/stressful.

Yoga/tai chi?

I wonder if a mindful activity like colouring might help too?

I find the idea of something being emotionally "filling" quite alarming

I guess it's about something being fulfilling - meaningful and enjoyable and satisfying...An activity that is "personally fulfilling"? Does that phrase have any different impact on you?

Do you have any self-soothing/self-care activities that you like to use than can maybe come into play here as a delay tactic and/or something that makes you feel good/a bit better in the moment? One I like is having a bath - the sensation of being in the warm water, I put on some music to focus on, I use a room spray so that I can breathe in the lovely smell... Some people swear by adding magnesium flakes to their bath (I'm not sure if one of the reasons for that is stimulating the PNS?) I do take magnesium baths sometimes but don't know if it's actually any "better" than a regular bath.

Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to experiment a little with finding a nice, easy, distracting activity that you can easily try at home? If nothing else, it may still add another tool to your tool box for grounding, self-soothing, relaxing, distracting yourself etc, even if you don't hit on one that directly helps with the eating?

 

[barefoot]

I wonder if massage could also help stimulate the PSN? Does anyone know?
You could learn a couple of basic self-massage techniques - hands, feet, head/neck?