Relationship Committed Supporter Struggling With Anger & Communication

[Red Dog]

Both my partner and I have PTSD (mine is in remission after several years of treatment), his has been diagnosed about a year ago and he is taking meds. Things have been going well: we both treat each very well and try our best to communication is a respectful and direct manner. We've been together almost one year and I have noticed that sometimes when he is angry with me instead of sharing his feelings, he gets very angry and tries to leave, tells me he wants to take a "break" (interpreted as a coward’s breakup) which I feel is punishment/he's trying to teach me a lesson if he’s angry, or says he doesn't want to see me again via email. Then later he’ll show up to my house to talk things through finally.

I have been through this with him several times and I tell him that if he truly doesn't want to be in this relationship, I’d understand but that he should at least give me respect by telling me face to face or at the very least on the phone. I feel like both of us can improve our communication skills, but it’s very frustrating for me that when things aren’t going well, he gets angry, he resorts to telling me he is going to leave. This last fight we had ended very badly after he became very jealous over a professional relationship I have with another man. There have also been some cultural challenges because of our backgrounds. I have given him no reason not to trust me. I have never had such a great relationship and I don’t want to lose him. I am wondering if I should just give him some time to calm down and figure out how to approach this from another angle. I am committed to finding solutions. Any advice?

 

[Red Dog]

There are times when I feel like I almost just want to give him exactly what he says he wants–to just leave him alone–because I feel like he wants me to beg him to come back. I am pretty confident that this is not healthy to participate in this exchange and I should in fact contact him. I am afraid that if I don’t contact him, he’ll think I don’t want to be with him anymore and it’s not worth the risk just to prove a point.