Childhood Completely Confused...

[Saria]

@Mammo It sounds like you're going through a difficult phase with a lot of confusion. I can definitely relate to your wish about wanting to understand where to go! I don't have the answer to that question, and i guess you know there's no definitive answer either. One of my first psychologist had a big picture on the wall with the saying "some things take time" which rings true for me, and maybe this can be relevant for you as well? I hope you'll continue to explore the difficulties with accepting the labels and experiences you've talked about and that you'll stick around on this site which has a lot of valuable information and support :)

 

[Mammo]

@theotherside
Thank you very much for sharing some of your story, I'm very sorry to hear that - and yes, although our situation/circumstances are different, the way of thinking does sound very similar. It's a degree of comfort to know at least I'm not the only one thinking like that.

@anonymous
This was very thought provoking. In a purely objective sense, yep, I acknowledge this may entirely be "denial" on my part. That's the "other side of the argument" that's going on in my head e.g. why would a psychologist make such a thing up? what incentive would she have to do that?

Re: my analysis of what constitutes "abuse" - me and my family all have legal backgrounds...hahah...so the first port of call for me is always, "what does the law actually say?" Part of what mortified me so much hearing those terms/labels is that such activity is criminal, and thats something I take very seriously. I'm not trying to be flippant, or reductionist. I just don't have any other term of reference, I guess.

@Saria
(and Anonymous) - may this will just take time, and at some point I may arrive at my own conclusion...I just hope it doesn't take too long as (i) patience has never been a virtue of mine and (ii) this inner-argument is extremely draining.

Thank you all for your input, I really am grateful,
Take care

 

[Lucycat]

I'm in a bit of a surreal situation, where it looks like my therapist/psychologist is treating me for some form of Link Removed/Link Removed...I can see this is what he's doing..

I would suggest that your T is treating you for your specific symptoms/ problems/ issues in order to make you feel better. You have said that your T has not diagnosed you, and that is perfectly reasonable. He is not giving you the label - but you are looking for one and applying it. It sounds as if you are arguing with a ghost. Your T is able to identify your childhood as a problem - you have labelled this as trauma/ abuse to fit the diagnosis that you have not been given.

It all sounds very muddled to me. Discuss with your T what your objectives of therapy are and work on that.

 

[WildMermaid]

I have to say this...some of us do feel we're damaged beyond repair, but we keep trying every day... Please be careful when saying things like "when you list them all out, it's quite depressing, and makes me just feel like a complete basket case, damaged goods." as it can come off in a hurtful and damning way.

That said...big welcome to the forum @Mammo :)

 

[VioletButterfly]

Do your research on trauma/PTSD and it's symptoms. Journal your feelings when occasions arise that cause you to pause or question. Also, consider how you are doing in everyday life and in your relationships. You are the only one who can determine your present and your history. Don't listen to absolutes from therapists until you are absolute about your history. This is your life, your history, and your future. Second opinions are always a good option if this therapist is coming on too strong or is making suggestions that you negate out of hand. Take good care of your self and trust your intuition. Big hugs, sweetie! VB