Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The Choice To Remain Ill Or Not?

[zeldazonk]

Some people (like my sister), don't like being alone so, based on what I know, I think she hasn't progressed as while she wants to heal to stop suffering she cannot imagine being without the support of family (some of whom are her abusers). It is that struggle that I see holding her back... the choice to not be alone over-rides the choice to heal for her.

Wow. And she possibly isn't conscious of this. That need to feel safe is such a basic one. I know it's a big obstacle for me.
Best, Zel.

 

[zeldazonk]

zeldazonk,

I can see where you are coming from. Sometimes it's not always a conscious choice

Exactly...

But if what was said held nothing for you, it wouldn't have caught your attention like it did. You have to ask yourself why it made you feel the way it did. Could there have been some truth in it?

You bet there could. I just didn't like the tone.
I'm pretty sure I'm onto why it upset me so much - partly, I've got the biggest meanest inner critic that talks in sweeping statements and says things like "if you were smarter / braver / more motivated you wouldn't be such a pathetic mess" I'm sure most people have their own version of this one.
The other thing is my mother (who has aspergers syndrome) also is very critical and judgemental - mainly because she lacks empathy I guess.
So when I perceive that kind of tone being used I get defensive. I like gentle, inclusive, all that stuff.
And I do find it very hard to keep the focus and momentum going. I think part of this is because I'm fragmented (DDNOS) so there's not much consistency with me. I lose faith and I don't know how to get it back again.
I am doing some really good exploring with my therapist at the moment, though, and I hope to keep this energy going.
All the best to you, Brontie.
Zel.

 

[intothelight]

This thread really bothered me, even the title made me uncomfortable. Multiple traumas are just that, a lot of bad things that happen to a person over a long period of time. I have read, sought advise from mental health professionals, read about other peoples experiences, and for a long time have felt pretty defeated and found very little hope. But.....

I hate the uncontrolled emotions, when there has to be a way to control them.
I hate looking a myself in terms of "inner" people, when they are just my own defective thinking.
I hate trying to measure my self worth in terms of the crap I was fed and now feed myself.
I hate being depressed, anxious, numb, disassociating, and all of the other crap most of the time, when I know I can be happy, hopeful, loving, funny and a lot of other good things.
I hate being suicidal and self-harming, when there was a time I was neither.

I just plain hate being like this, and nothing is going to change unless I sh1t or get off the pot!

Bottom line, nothing changes unless we change ourselves. No one can do that for us; not all of the drugs, counseling, therapies, healthful lifestyles, support or anything. They are the tools we use, and I will use, to get better. But that is all they are, tools. The choice is a conscience one.

I am finally mad, fighting mad. Screw the labels, it sucks; and it is not going to define my existence.

 

[zeldazonk]

This thread really bothered me, even the title made me uncomfortable.

Just for the record - I didn't name this thread. Makes me uncomfortable too.
I think that's a good kind of anger...
Best, Zel

 

[Abbi]

This merry go round has been disturbing and kind of sad. It seems that the various "camps" in trying to one up each other don't mind painting everyone with one brush to fit their own demands. What happened to I statements.........how about sweep your own street?
Really doesn't feel very safe.

 

[becvan]

I just didn't like the tone.
So when I perceive that kind of tone being used I get defensive.

I would like to point out something here. There is no tone online. Tone is the sound, the infliction a person puts into their voice to convey emtions and meanings. We do not use a voice on here but instead the written word.

If I don't like someone's "tone" that is me adding my own twist to what I think they are saying and why. It would become my assumption and my perspective and would 99.9% of the time be wrong. If I think someone has a certain "tone" online that is a sure way to discover that something about it is really bothering me and usually its the truth behind it.

Food for thought.
bec

 

[zeldazonk]

I would like to point out something here. There is no tone online. Tone is the sound, the infliction a person puts into their voice to convey emtions and meanings. We do not use a voice on here but instead the written word
bec

Yeah, I get your point Bec. Here's a quote from me back on page one:
"Please correct me - I'm serious. I may be misinterpreting your tone. It can get lost in posts sometimes I think."
There was some wording that worried me a bit as well.

Best, Zel.

 

[becvan]

Obviously Zel, you are determined to be "right" no matter what. I wish you the best of luck and will leave this thread to others.

bec

 

[zeldazonk]

Obviously Zel, you are determined to be "right" no matter what. I wish you the best of luck and will leave this thread to others
bec

Bec, I was just demonstrating that I got your point. I don't know what else to say.

 

[zeldazonk]

Never, never assume that you know all of someone's story, or why they do what they do, or how they should get through things

I like that.

 

[becvan]

My apologies then Zel, I misunderstood your post. However I am still bowing out. :)

bec

 

[Nicolette]

I like that.

Interesting Zelda since you professed to assume my and my sister's situation:

Their experience of life is obviously different from yours, though.

:confused: