Complexity In Survivorship

[Seasounds]

Sometimes being a survivor brings a complexity to my situation. In other words, I realize people I can have in my closest circle (good friends, trusted providers, etc) and those I can’t. I say “Can’t,” because some people trigger me and I’m not able to neutralize my response with my current ‘toolbox’ of coping skills. I feel sad when I have this limitation but if I’ve learned one thing, it is listen to what my body is telling me.

My PCP has been giving me signals like professionals do-who don’t want to work with you any more but they can’t out right say it. The put-down comments, challenging my experiences of my body, no empathy, ignoring my physical complaints; basically going through the visit mechanistically. It’s aweful; such objectification triggers memories of abuse. Thinking of leaving this PCP brings up more loss. Hopefully, there will be a better experience with a new provider. Everything was going so well until a contracted a condition that my rovider doesn’t want to manage. Hence, the rude treatment.

The slights haves added up in the past few months. I happen to get an asthma flares which similarly has surfaced by staying in relationships with people who treat me poorly. At least now I recognize the pattern. This asthma flare simultaneously arrived with hayfever and a cold. All together, it’s a storm of sorts. I’m treating all levels. In the thick and middle of it now, I’m fatigued and feel trapped; needing to take high dose steroids to reduce the asthma flair this weekend.

I’m not a drug person. I hate the highs and lows of steroids. The resolving breakthrough is on its easy: on Monday I start working with a new provider-who wants to work with my condition. I hope the depression and my condition improve. Meanwhile, I’m hanging in there. As I’m grateful for being aware of my body’s messages, it gives more work to do. I realize my limitations and remind myself I can now make choices to bring me freedoms; rather than waiting for people to change.

Support welcome. Anyone relate? How did you cope?

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you take anything non-steroid for your asthma?

I’m on singulair, an albuterol inhaler, as well as using albuterol in a nebulizer, smaller doses every hour or so. I can’t handle steroids at all. Magnesium also helps with my asthma issues.

:hug:

 

[ladee]

Glad to see you have a new provider. Steroids are infamous for making us feel like we have made no progress whatsoever. Exciting to see you are paying attention to your body. That alone is huge huge progress.

Hope you are soon feeling the benefits of better care!!

 

[Justmehere]

Do you have an immunologist? I have found them to be wonderfully more capable of treating asthma and allergies than the average PCP.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Sometimes being a survivor brings a complexity to my situation. In other words, I realize people I can have in my closest circle (good friends, trusted providers, etc) and those I can’t. I say “Can’t,” because some people trigger me and I’m not able to neutralize my response with my current ‘toolbox’ of coping skills. I feel sad when I have this limitation but if I’ve learned one thing, it is listen to what my body is telling me.

My PCP has been giving me signals like professionals do-who don’t want to work with you any more but they can’t out right say it. The put-down comments, challenging my experiences of my body, no empathy, ignoring my physical complaints; basically going through the visit mechanistically. It’s aweful; such objectification triggers memories of abuse. Thinking of leaving this PCP brings up more loss. Hopefully, there will be a better experience with a new provider. Everything was going so well until a contracted a condition that my rovider doesn’t want to manage. Hence, the rude treatment.

The slights haves added up in the past few months. I happen to get an asthma flares which similarly has surfaced by staying in relationships with people who treat me poorly. At least now I recognize the pattern. This asthma flare simultaneously arrived with hayfever and a cold. All together, it’s a storm of sorts. I’m treating all levels. In the thick and middle of it now, I’m fatigued and feel trapped; needing to take high dose steroids to reduce the asthma flair this weekend.

I’m not a drug person. I hate the highs and lows of steroids. The resolving breakthrough is on its easy: on Monday I start working with a new provider-who wants to work with my condition. I hope the depression and my condition improve. Meanwhile, I’m hanging in there. As I’m grateful for being aware of my body’s messages, it gives more work to do. I realize my limitations and remind myself I can now make choices to bring me freedoms; rather than waiting for people to change.

Support welcome. Anyone relate? How did you cope?

Just a piece of info: stress increases anxiety, which can increase allergies and stall our immune system, and steroids for immune issues and breathing challenges can crash your immune system! If you’re under stress, I stress caution w oral steroids- a rescue inhaler only does so much in this situation. In my experience, negative family members caused me to show moderate to severe responses on the allergy panel. Now, no more breathing and allergy issues- the only thing changed- going NC w family.