Your friend may only want to help you with nothing else in mind. It maybe that is her load to bear, helping others. But sh...
Your comment actually makes me really sad. To think of that on my friend. When I was younger I'd let people rely on my a lot. I tried making friends and the friends I made just so happen to be pretty depressed or were going through a lot. So I'd help them and eventually it narrowed down to the very few that I cared for. The first best friend I made.. I remember he and I would stay up until 3 in the morning to talk and he would rant toward me about problems he had or about his sadness. He would perform self harm and all that. My first real close friend and just one day when I left his side, he drove himself into a pole and died. I already know this fact affects me because I get very nervous(panic attack for hours)when my friend gets into a car and does not keep up with communications. (if she's not driving.)
The other friend, he had to move because of expenses and we lost contact through that. Then the last third one, got into drugs and tried getting me to cover for her, but I knew I couldn't take that risk with my parents and all that, so I declined and she made my high school years not so fun. (by the way, these friends are not listed in chronological order. The druggie female came first, then the one who died in a car accident, but through that guy I met the other friend who had to move.)
Although there are some days my lack of empathy really.. shines through, I do understand what it's like to carry the burdens of other people and my load, I feel, is too much for her. Or one day someone else will hand their load to her and she'll break. I don't want to see that happen to her. She's such an amazing spirit, so vibrant and amazing and beautiful.. I don't want to see her diminish from over use as a "shoulder to lean on" but I also know I can't prevent her from doing what she does best. (She also actually wants to help people.) So all I can conclude for that is to not be one of those people that assist in her destruction. She is a very strong person but she's not invincible either. I want her to know that she can also rely on me, but with her convincing me to rely on her makes that impossible. It makes me seem like I'm not able to help her.
Though I suppose it should be that way. With how I am, I wouldn't be able to provide the correct emotional support or whatever that is required to make someone feel better. I don't even know how people provide "emotional support." All I know is how to physically be there and just make sure they don't do anything stupid.
Anyways, sorry. As you can see your comment really struck a chord(not in a bad way.) I didn't want to respond right away because it saddened me deeply for my friend. I see it as a beautiful thing being corrupted and crushed by the harsh realities of the world, even though I know full well she understand how harsh this world is -- yet she insists on helping others. She's a strange one, really.
