Compulsive negative self-talk

[The Albatross]

I got it eventually however there is quite a bit available that does not take expense. What it takes? Well that would be proactivity.

 

[ms spock]

For about 3-4 years now, I've been struggling with compulsively talking to myself--yes, out f*cking loud--in this fashion: "You should kill yourself." "You're so f*cking stupid."
"I hate you." "You should go die."

She said that what I was doing (arguing aloud with myself) was the best way to deal with it. But it has been over three years. And this is still happening.

I want to stop talking to myself out loud in degrading ways. Whenever my stress kicks up, it worsens, and this semester will likely be very stressful. I already have an uptick in suicidal ideation, negative self-talk, isolating behaviors, and a general feeling of self-disgust. And it's only week one.

I have had a resurgence of this as well, I was wondering how you are managing it now Simon? Have you got new strategies? Or are you just managing it the best that you can.

I am embarrassed that I talk aloud so much to myself.

 

[Fadeaway]

Thank you for this thread. Mindfulness stops it in the act but doesn't do shit to prevent it before it happens for me. It only helps to catch myself sooner after it starts.

 

[Kintsugi]

@Disco Dancing Queen My new tactic is to stop resisting the compulsive speech when I can (when I'm alone) and instead to just keep talking. I always come around to talking about fear. I don't know if this is helping me stop, but I do think I'm digging closer to the core issue, since I usually have this happen when I experience shame/embarrassment/humiliation of some kind.

 

[ms spock]

That is a really good insight @Simply Simon. Glad to read that you are chipping away at it @Simply Simon

I noticed recently I go there after I have spent some time with people and it is about shame/humiliation and the fear of how people are potentially going to treat me, if I got it wrong.

 

[GoldenSunshine]

Hi Guys!!

At times I have a lot of negative self talk as well. Something I find that helps me is listening to positive self affirmations. Have a look at Power Thoughts Meditation Club on You Tube, in particular their I AM meditation playlist: It works best if you listen with headphones on.
My fave is: Unstoppable Courage & Inner Power.

 

[ms spock]

I am also challenging my negative self talk as well, I am not buying into it as much.

 

[ms spock]

If you make progress with this @Simply Simon please let me know how it went for you.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

@Simply Simon
Thanks for this thread. Same issues here. My worst are when trying to sleep. Barely at sleep and verbal outbursts. Try to shut the head up. Better when I had Bella (my best friend SD). Do not know why, but saying, thinking Bella Puppy always helped and now she is gone, worse to try that soothing. Working with a new pal. Not the same connection.

Grief. You lost a good friend, and many changes and challenges since then.

 

[Kintsugi]

Something wild just happened. I'll have to write more about how I've been coping later, but you won't believe what just happened. I had an embarrassing thought about my class earlier today. And then, compulsively and repetitively--as my "I hate you!" always is--I said, on a loop:

"I love you."

My mind has been blown.

 

[ms spock]

:tup:

 

[asadafagahajakal]

I do this in a rather different way. I don’t say out loud I’m useless, tell myself to kill myself or talk to myself condescendingly, but when I’m feeling like shit, I end up telling inanimate objects, especially electronics, to literally fk off and die, or talk down to it like I’m speaking to a really stupid person.

You could say I’m projecting my emotions into an object so I don’t project it on myself or people around me.