Compulsive negative self-talk

[The Albatross]

ACT is not actually radical acceptance and passivity... I did incorporate that as well. There are some really good metaphors about it - I think it's Russ Harris? One is hands as thoughts: act russ arris the hands as thoughts, video - Bing video

Another is the Chessboard metaphor which you've likely seen cuz I put it up here a number of times.

I did a webinar several years ago now where they talked considerably about coping with thoughts and feelings using "defusion": Coping with Thoughts and Feelings using Defusion @illusionist - who said, "Maybe you could put music to your self talk", that is similar to Al Ellis's REBT (search for his silly songs) and also an ACT technique and it's in the vid about defusion briefly that I gave here.

The techniques in the video aren't exactly passive. Maybe worth a try?

Also somewhere (maybe ACT?) there was activities to do about normalizing and taking the power out of the words. I found that helpful as well.

More later...

 

[SeekingAfrica]

For about 3-4 years now, I've been struggling with compulsively talking to myself--yes, out f*cking...

Wow, so many useful resources from people on this thread, thank you everyone! I do a lot of coping things like these too and I am generally much more positive, I have less amount of really bad moments. The issue is that usually on those(more rare now) bad moments I am hugely anxious, and it's like my mind is wiped out of the positive thoughts, or things I can do and all I'm left with is the bad. Sometimes I have no idea what to say to the bad voice or what to do next.

So something on my anxiety recovery/coping list is slowly making a bunch of cards(either playing card size or half that). On them I would put affirmations and actions, but specific to how my bad days work. For a while I started noting what symptoms I experience on really bad days. Then I would write notes on cardsstock of the things I wish I knew to remember when freaking out- small housework todo lists, reminders of what I can do for particular triggering things, soothing actions(like taking a bath etc.)...basically things to help me in these moments. Then I'll laminate them, punch them and put them on keychain ring to carry around in my anxiety kit to read if I feel that way. And basically you can adjust that idea to whatever notes or anything you want to keep on it.

It's not a novel idea...there was company that made a bunch of these for different mental issues with the idea that you would use them to let people know what you need if you're non-verbal for whatever reason(like having panic attack). I thought I would just adjust it for myself, because when I'm really panicked I always always go completely blank on what to do and freeze.

p.s. whoever had the idea of memorizing a poem, that does sound interesting and like something I haven't heard before.

 

[Kintsugi]

Sorry, I guess I have no idea what ACT is.

Something that's frustrating about this symptom is that it has no real context. It's not like I'm usually brooding beforehand or not feeling positively about myself. It's actually more the opposite. I'll be feeling fine, and often I'm at work, just doing my thing, and then some pang of negativity (I forgot something, I said something off color--some minor foible) comes into my mind like a hit-and-run and I spit out the negative self-talk out of seemingly nowhere.

Now that I think about it, I guess it is connected to not really being mindful/present. It usually happens during times my mind would naturally float around freely--cooking, showering, driving, bathing a client... routine stuff where my mind is in a naturally light dissociative state.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It usually happens during times my mind would naturally float around freely--cooking, showering, driving, bathing a client... routine stuff where my mind is in a naturally light dissociative state.

This always happens to me when I am in the same state. It is a constant source of grief for me these days. What helps me to cope is to be vigilant with the positive feedback from myself right away if I can just catch myself falling into doing this.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

This always happens to me when I am in the same state. It is a constant source of grief for me these days....

Yeah, this happens to me sometimes as well. It took a lot for me to re-learn to not feel like I hate myself over skipping some household chore and feeling so bad that I actually can't do it, but keep beating myself up over it. Like if I left a full sink of dishes I would spiral into hate self talk so much I would be unable to even pass by the sink without feeling anxious and ashamed...thankfully I've worked through some specific triggers I have, for the hoursehold stuff...
But there are still plenty of small stuff that cause that reaction and I'm not even aware which they are until it happens. It usually just happens less when I start going to therapy, journaling regularly and taking better regular self-care.

 

[Kintsugi]

journaling regularly and taking better regular self-care.

Journaling might actually help. It used to be the biggest thing in my toolbox, but I've been really bad about it since moving here, which actually aligns nicely with when this symptom started getting ridiculous. Journaling really helps me put shit in a proverbial box instead of letting all of it fly around my skull like so many golden snitches.

 

[The Albatross]

If you've worked through REBT Simon, then ACT is your move up. Journaling is good... you won't see me knocking it... I was pretty prolific however don't discount modalities/therapeutic takes just cuz you don't know what they are k?

 

[Kintsugi]

I haven't done REBT. My therapist does a model of several talk therapies with some CBT thrown in, although we don't do CBT, which I've done in the past. My T focuses on interpersonal psychotherapy, which has been very helpful in getting to the root but doesn't handle a lot of what I would consider symptom management strategies.

 

[The Albatross]

REBT is not a talk therapy. Al Ellis cracked the nut for my recovery. Then the CBT and DBT models... and to push it over the goal post was ACT.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Journaling might actually help. It used to be the biggest thing in my toolbox, but I've been really...

Yeah, same. Started again lately and it's still very helpful. Of course it's one tools of many, but I've always like writing and drawing and art so finding different ways to express how I feel in it really works of me. When I'm good, I write, make lists, add pictures, draw, make collages in it and so on....When I'm in worst state I've found that answering simple questions helps me because I'm too rattle to express how I feel.
Example of that is the "currently" journaling prompt that many people do- you know, like, it's X month and I am listening to X, eating X, watching X, feeling X, hoping that X....you know, direct question that seems meaningless to you in a moment but then it's nice to look at in few years.

REBT is not a talk therapy. Al Ellis cracked the nut for my recovery. Then the CBT and DBT model...

Yeah, I'm trying to work on these too, but for the moment with whatever free resources I can find on my own, because...well, it's the best I can do currently.

 

[The Albatross]

@SeekingAfrica - REBT resources are free.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@SeekingAfrica - REBT resources are free.

I meant that I've also want to get the DBT workbook and some things like that. People seem to really recommend it. I found some free DBT resource but I'm not sure it's the same as the book. In the book at least there's some more guidance. I always prefer getting a book with exact set of exercises if I can so I don't get lost between which resources to use and what's better.
Can you put links to your favorite resources? I'm sure you already have for some of them, sorry! There has been so much information inflow on my computer lately with work and all else that I can't find everything...