Confessions...

[Omes]

there is too much anger and disagreement on the site today.

Where? You are allowed to say something. :)

If something upsets you then maybe you should report it.

 

[Epo]

Oh thanks Omes. :) There was nothing totally out of control and a lot of it was being dealt with quite assertively rather than aggressively but all caused from sensitivities and people misunderstanding what was being said to them and reacting. Some of it was plain out of control but not aimed at me and now resolved. Lots of judgemental behaviour going around. Ninety nine percent of it nothing to do with me. Was going from one thread to the next and drama, drama everywhere!

I am just over sensitive and absorb bad vibes even though I am much better than I used to be.

upsets

 

[Ecul]

The person who supports me has emotionally separated from me. It's weird to have a loving relationship with someone and then suddenly feel like a stranger with them because of the extent that they are emotionally withdrawn. They said that it's been harder on them then I'd realized and that at some point they had to separate. They don't deserve this role that's for sure and I'm not the person they started out with. I still just can't believe it. It just feels like what else can happen to me.

 

[Niluz]

Or not what else can happen just how much more can I lose?

 

[Ove]

I cut myself, I'm scared before I do it, but I love the high, I just lay back and let it wash over me. I told myself it was probably a cry for help but I go out of my way to keep it hidden. I don't think I'm addicted, but I don't care. I love the cuts, but not for blood or even the high - I really hope they scar. It's refreshing to be able to see my pain for once.

 

[Wika]

It's refreshing to be able to see my pain for once.

I know that feeling, that was me so long ago. You aren't alone and it isn't a cry for attention. Just be careful. Try to find other ways to get that high before it becomes a compulsion you need professional help to stop. I use work outs, or running. Run until you can't breathe, cycle until it hurts, I get the same high and instead of hurting myself I'm helping myself.

 

[Redovuz]

I'm okay. I'm alone, I'll always be alone and I'm okay. None of all of this matters anymore.

 

[Difisu]

Integrity is not my strong suit.

 

[Epo]

None of all of this matters

None of what matters Redovuz? What doesn't matter?

 

[Redovuz]

What doesn't matter?

What people think, life in general, trying to find someone. None of it matters.

 

[Ezicu]

I'm experiencing a new emotion called sadness. The only other emotion I feel is anger. I also feel kind of depressed from the sadness and feeling depressed from sadness is new too. I guess all I really feel is anger. When any other emotion reaches me it's unusual and it's only ever anger about the same thing. Never anything different.
Only now I also feel sad that I've become so alone and that nobody is hanging in there in my life. That people just want away from the stress. I feel sad that my life has been so affected by this and I'm losing everything.
It actually is sad. And it's interesting that I can only partially feel the sadness because I have difficulty feeling anything. I'm surprised at feeling sad only I should feel a million times sadder and I consider it to be miraculous that I feel it at all.

 

[Ehu]

If I can find the strength to survive today with doing anything stupid, then maybe things will get better.