Connection. why the hell is this so hard?!?

[Friday]

Seriously. Thoughts? Science? Personal examples? I just can't wrap my brain around it. The more heads the merrier. I am so beyond pissed off at this, at the moment.

Also, how in blazes to either kick it to the curb, work around it, or surmount it would be grand.​

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Timing
Age
Calendar
Lack of sleep
Fear

 

[ladee]

Allowing our selves to be vulnerable. The paradox is, the more vulnerable we become, the less vulnerable we are. I remember trying to be more open, and getting my feelings so hurt... Just what I had always avoided.... I remember it as if it was yesterday. And thinking... f*ck this... but a crack had opened and I couldn't reseal it..
Hard to explain in the short form, just that each time I was hurt, I learned something about myself... the things I hated about myself and didn't want others to know. How scared I was of getting hurt, almost volunteering to be hurt by being vulnerable and open.
But I became wiser and a little more thick skinned, learned how not to take things personal, and if I did, how to work on it.
Don't know if this short example helps.... but that is how I started making real connections... not just surface .

 

[Muttly]

Fear?
lack of health experience?
people are freaking weird?

 

[watundah]

I dunno. It is the final frontier for me. I think society is full of self absorbed a-holes and those who know how to listen and genuinely care are rare gems. People aren't taught to connect in this country.

 

[Ronin]

I'd start at what makes -you- connect. Situations / expressions / themes / interests / whatever.

Worry about others, later. Figure what's connection for you, what makes it meaningful. Then go about where to find that darn thing.

 

[AnD]

What @ladee said!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Once I finally figured out I was lacking a meaningful connection with my own damn self, and was taught (although I didn't really realize I was learning so deeply in the moments it was happening) how to more lovingly and healthily do that, I was able to connect with others on a much deeper level.

Well, some others, anyway. It seems some connections simply aren't meant to happen as we may wish or expect they would, although they may have been sent as a lesson/blessing in disguise of some sort.

Hindsight is much better at recognizing those particular encounters, however, as they usually feel like anything but a blessing at the time.

 

[EveHarrington]

VULNERABILITY!

Well, at least that's what my latest Brene Brown book says. Im on like page 5.

Scary shit.

SCARY!

 

[Freida]

Risk assessment. "They" are dangerous. Maybe. But. I like them. But. So risky. So much at stake. What could go wrong? If it goes wrong what is the risk? Where is the threat? Is there a threat? What's my threat assessment? Never mind. This is to much work. People suck. But. I like THAT one. Crap. Now what do I do? Risk assessment...

Hamster wheel from hell

 

[PlainJane]

It’s a fundamental human need. Yet, my brain has mislabeled connection as a threat (granted, it had reason to feel threatened just forgot to lift the ban). It treats connection like an allergy.

I can picture all the activity buzzing through my cells as connection begins to invade my system. The brain flashes code red. “SEND THE ANTIBODIES!”...

disaster averted. Guys that was a close one!