Poll Contact With Therapist Between Sessions

[BloomInWinter]

Now, my T. has told me to call and see if he has an opening, rather than waiting.

I've never been able to do it, though.

 

[safenow]

I have my therapist's email and phone number. But I've only emailed him with the name of my alters and to please be sure to not let me leave the office if I'm triggered. I don't think I'd feel right calling him if I had an emergency. I don't think an emergency can wait 2 - 4 days. If it could, it wouldn't be an emergency.

 

[Maggiemay]

Boundaries with my therapist have become rather blurred when it comes to contact outside the therapy room.

It started as formal emails attaching documents for me to read as 'homework' between sessions. Then friendly email, usually day after a hard session, checking out I was ok.

Then I went into crisis & she went on holiday so made sure her colleague phoned me whilst away. She was then ill and ended up having a couple of telephone conversations and started to exchange texts.

This soon snowballed. I've now been discharged from her service for 3 months and still have daily contact with her through texts, and she even sent me an Xmas card an Xmas pressies ;)

Issue was although she discharged me I was still in crisis and had no support and she didn't want mw to feel left abandoned. I value her so much for fighting to make sure I now have a new therapist and that potentially she put her job on the line for me by breaking boundaries.

But, now she feels like a huge part of my life, more a friend than a therapist. It's making the idea of separation feel excruciating. I've come to rely on and look forward to her texts. I have 3 month review with her next week, I think that's when she's going to sever contact. I'm dreading it. But, this relationship cannot continue forever, especially as I will start seeing a new therapist properlying from Mon.

She said she's never used this approach before and it was important to build trust and contain me when in crisis and things were out of control. It allowed me to do a lot more therapeutic work than I ever have in the 16 yrs of on and off therapy.

I'll never forget her and appreciate what she did a lot. She made me feel cared for, heard and understood when life was unbearable, full of constant switching between dissociation, panic and all types of flashbacks, including horrendous nights full of very acute night terrors.

Don't want her to walk out my life :'(

 

[Changing4Best]

My therapist stays in touch by email and on Facebook. I imagine she'd take a brief phone call too, if need be, but since we have email, I feel most comfortable with that. She also plays a Scrabble game with me on Facebook, because my psychiatrist recommeded I play Scrabble to help improve my memory problems, which had become astronomical. The games do seem to be helping so I am ever so grateful! I was affraid if the problem continued that I would end up in a nursing home, because I was forgetting to take my meds. I forgot them once this week and remembered them at the next mealtime, in time to rescue myself before disaster struck. All in all, I feel I am forgetting things less often too. I feel encouraged. I feel cared for.

 

[Phenioxrising]

My T say to e-mail him anytime I want. And is the most realistc T I've had. I've only seen him in therapy sessions three times.. but sped up my treatment thorough e-mail. He goes far beyond the call of duty, and that puts me off a bit. I'm not used to attention, yet seem to have no problem with e-mail, ( go figure). Also he often e-mails me a couple days before apts. to see if I'll be their. Even though I haven't missed an Appt.

 

[Abstract]

May I ask how this comes about? Do people ask? Does the therapist offer? What precipitates either of those happening? Thanks.

But, now she feels like a huge part of my life, more a friend than a therapist

Maggie,
May I ask if you now see it as having been a good idea or do you think she made you too dependent on her? Just wondered how it worked out.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Actually, I started e-mailing him. He was the one that kept encourageing me to e-mail him. It's not really part of the package thats usually offered.

Definately, I would ask if I were you; couldn't hurt.And,you can process trama memories by writeing about them to him/her.

 

[Changing4Best]

Mine also sends me cheery things on Facebook and in email. Cartoons, little pick-me-ups, etc. I really appreciate these. Once she sent me something that was a joke, but it reminded me of the time an abuser tried to choke me half to death, then thought better of it and let me live. I emailed her back and let her know about what came up in my memory. She apologised, but I told her anything anyone might send me could potentially bring up such a memory and not to worry about it. Thankfully I had already discussed the incident with a former therapist, so it was not charged up as much as it might have been otherwise.

 

[Invisible-Guy]

I try not to, but if I'm in a crisis mode,I know I'd better. I have the memory problems that other people on here are talking about, so I write a mini-journal and take it to my sessions. Just got a new Psychologist and she's great. She give me lots to do, but in small steps. Just an FWY, don't try to go through your treatment to fast or it could backfire on you. I had to call a few weeks ago because I accidently hurt a family member. They came from behind and put their hand on my neck. Training and panic took over and a turned around and flung them into a wall. They're store sore from the incident. I was mortified and in tears and had to talk to my counselor. never thought in a million years that I would physically hurt a loved one. I know this illness makes me a pill to be around verbally, this has never happened. Now, if I'm at a desk or computer,I put a rubber ball by the door and have them toss it at me from a safe distance. I know that's weird, but I'd rather have a weird solution than to ever hurt somebody again.

 

[Maggiemay]

Maggie,
May I ask if you now see it as having been a good idea or do you think she made you too dependent on her? Just wondered how it worked out.

I'm still in contact now, even after review, so relationship still positive as still in place. But definitely very dependent on her - not great when I now have a new T, but helped trust a lot and kept me contained when needed. I should really stop contact, but I don't want the feeling of abandonment which will undoubtedly come ;'( xxx

 

[Invisible-Guy]

I'm pretty dependent on mine as well. @Shiela, That's cool! One of the things I love about my new DR is that she always gets me to laugh, no matter how bad things are.

 

[Abstract]

He was the one that kept encourageing me

Thanks Phoenix,
I think it probably comes from me never dreaming of asking and them never offering as I always appear to be doing better than I am it seems.

I was mortified and in tears and had to talk to my counselor.

I am sorry Invisible Guy. It seems it was reflex and you were triggered and did not mean to do it. It's good you have strategies to prevent it in the future.

not great when I now have a new T, but helped trust a lot and kept me contained when needed

Thanks Maggiemay.
I am still trying to balance good dependence versus over dependence as a concept so I wondered.

I suspect most professionals would frown on what your ex therapist did so wondered if you felt it disempowered you a bit. I know some people who felt very damaged by situations like this but I guess there can be many variables.

It seems though that it must be difficult to trust your new T totally when you still have your old T around. I hope it works out for you!