Vee..I too had a similar situation. It was shocking for me when I saw my best friend's accident wit...
My condolences. *hugs*
The first thing I would say is get yourself into grief counseling. I went to individual therapy, and then I was placed in a traumatic grief group counseling. I don't think I would be here without those.
The second thing I would say is do not be afraid to try meds and discuss them with your doctor. I needed the Xanax for the first few months just to get through the day. Benzodiapenes, like Xanax, help with anxiety and panic attacks. They can be addicting, and should be treated as short term helpers. I didn't want to take it, but I couldn't function. I also started taking an antidepressant. Antidepressants are not addicting and are long-term helpers. They help anxiety, depression and intrusive thoughts. They work by building up in your system, so if you do decide to take one, we're talking about a year minimum.
The third thing is to do whatever possible you can to limit your stress. Cut back on things at work. If you have the money, hire a babysitter or get a house cleaner once a week. Give yourself more time to work on yourself and process your feelings.
Start a journal. This helps process emotions and can help you identify your triggers with your therapist.
Be as healthy as possible. The better you feel physically, the better your body is to help you emotionally. Get daily exercise, stay away from alcohol and marijuana, don't eat a lot of junk food.
Get in touch with your body. PTSD is a physical disease. Yoga, swimming, daily walks, anything to get those endorphins pumping.
Don't be afraid to talk with people. There is no timetable for grief. Don't feel like you should be over something after a certain amount of time.
I hope this helps. Please feel free to reach out if needed.
