Core Beliefs & Counters


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He provides a buffer zone and a forcefield that stops me being a needy-and-exploitative- people-magnet, which was draining me down to near fatal levels, when I met him.
That is great. Some of us really do need the extra help. I used to be really bad that way, too, but got help learning to instead be pretty standoffish many years ago.

Most of my family is not diagnosed on the spectrum but after my nephew was diagnosed, a lot of things seemed to make sense, especially regarding my mother who is high functioning but almost never didn't have help from her parents. I can't say for sure but the ways she resembles my nephew are pretty amazing. I do know that the empathy she had for me as a kid was over the top and really more than she could handle. It made her nuts.

My mother's lack of awareness is also pretty astounding. It really does make it hard to sort anything out.

Best of luck to you with hopefully figuring out your mother. It's hard work trying to understand people who cannot provide you with much insight into themselves.


being on guard against bad things will keep me safe from bad things.

Sure, staying in my own lane is safer than crossing the centerline, but doesn't stop the assholes that do cross the centerline. Being hypervigilant beyond cleaning my headlights and tail lights every time I gas up, keeping my tires and brakes in top shape, watching my mirrors and looking both ways at intersections and stuff like that is all good and does help my survival chances, but being angry for a month after every close call, fearing for my life whenever I sit behind a dashboard - doesn't help anyone get home alive.

If the planets are aligned, you are gonna feel the wrath of the whatever on the high place looking down. Thats how it is, was, and will always be. Relax and enjoy the ride.