Crazy Making.....

[circe47]

......is the mother who constantly complains about how her parents loved her sibling more than her, then can't resist bragging endlessly about the accomplishments, sensitivity, creativity, specialness of her own favorite child to all who will listen. This is the same mother who whips out thirty pictures of her favorite child, but brings only one or two pictures each of her other children for show and tell. This is the who ruminates how guilty she feels about how her favorite child suffered through the dysfunctions of her second marriage, yet expresses no guilt about the suffering of the children from her first dysfunctional marriage. This is the same mother who accuses her other children of just being jealous in light of her blatant favoritism when they say "You really don't hear or see ME!":banghead:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you get away from her?

 

[Abstract]

Circe.
I am really sorry. I think there is no winning in a situation like this as she obviously does not have enough of an ability to reason to be able to change. :banghead: indeed. And probably :cry: too.

 

[circe47]

SOL-

Not really. I still love her, in spite of it all. I just have to understand that it is what it is. That she is only projecting her own childhood onto us kids. It's sort of sad, really, because she doesn't have the close relationship with her sibling that I have with mine. While I am able to see the obvious favoritism, I hold no resentment for my siblings. They just got the luckier end of the stick, through no fault of their own. So, I see it as sad that she doesn't have a sibling that can understand and relate to the overall dysfunction of it all.

 

[circe47]

My sibs have had it hard in a different way. Falling off of a golden pedestal, things can get broken too. Being sMothered, means constantly trying to become disentangled from emotional bondage and guilt for wanting be free. Not saying I wouldn't like to be overly loved once in a while, but apparently, enmeshment is pretty constricting.....or so I am told.

 

[Philippa]

Wow...sounds really really familiar. I was just feeling down about my own mother before coming here. It can be so hurtful when mothers do this.

 

[discarded]

Sounds like my mother-in-law

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well then it is up to you to determine how much of her abuse you are willing to tolerate.

 

[circe47]

Absolutely, SOL-

Which is why I limit the contact.

 

[TeaLeaf]

This sounds like my mother- dependent, narcissistic and no ability to have a two way conversation where she actually hears how the other person feels. It's very sad and hurtful to have a mother act like this.

I have been on no contact with my mom for the past 2 years, she is just too toxic. It is not the right course of action for everyone but it was necessary for me. It is probably essential for emotional health though that we at least limit contact with people like this and I am glad to hear you are doing that.