Dating With Ptsd

[Springer80]

I went on one of the really popular dating sites and made a profile just for fun to see what matches it would bring up. I answered every question on the very long survey and I was honest with my answers. By the end of the survey when it went to show me my matches finally, it said I had ZERO matches my area. I felt so awesome. :bored:

The stupid thing is >9000, is that most people on their are probably exaggerating at least a bit and some of them will out right BS.

Possible matches for PTSD'ers

LAZY
HIPPY
FARM BOY
CHRONICALLY SHY
PEOPLE STUCK IN SLOW MOTION

 

[saffy]

my ex girlfriend dumped just about two months ago and she is still living in my house...for free

WHAT.:nailbiting: I cannot believe I just read that. Have you not got rid yet? That is not healthy at all Over9000. Sorry not really my business but had to say it anyway :hug:

Yes dating sites are funny. I don't think there is one person on their that doesn't make things up or exagerate. If you think about it they are all still on their getting no where. If they were the person they wrote their profile on, (they all seem so perfect and level headed:tdown: ) they should have no trouble finding a mate. So something must not ring true eh ;)

Or is this me being paranoid again :wacky:

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[saffy]

I'm still stupidly hopeful

Me too Springer80. I think there is always hope. All those people out there, there must be one for me somewhere :)

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend. It is horrible when this happens. I have done this with my two last relationships. However, I learnt things from each. The last one lasted longer because I learnt from certain things I did with the first one. I still made mistakes but they were different and now I have learnt from that too. Hopefull by the time I find another I will be more prepared and skilled at controlling myself, here's hopeing :hungry:

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Springer80]

here's hopeing :hungry:

WOOOh there Nelly!!! ;):laugh: Looks like even if you reign in PTSD he might still might have to watch out!!

Here's to being in the Stupidly Hopeful club :) X

 

[saffy]

:roflmao: you make me laugh Springer80 :)

I have been called a man eater before also, Not sure what they ment by it though ;)

So maneater and coungar mmmmm I must be giving off some electric vibes :playful:

Saffy :)

 

[99Phoenix99]

Dating .... for me is a love hate relationship. Just like my hair.

When I'm actively not trying I have an amazing hair day, it's like straight out of a shampoo commercial. But when I purposely try to make my hair look nice? It looks like it was just thrown in the weed whacker. It's not pretty...

When I'm actively searching to date it never works out well for me. I've tried online which does work ... but only to an extent. The end result wasn't good. But it was certainly better than going out to a bar or club. It's just strike out after strike out.

But when I REALLY don't want to date (Like now for example) because I'm working on me and my PTSD along with a slew of other things I find that I have guys coming out of the woodwork :O_o: It makes NO sense. I really can't handle anything right now. Day to day is really hard right now. It would just be a mess if I started dating.

So my only guess is now when I go out it's only for me. I go out for fun with my friends and nothing else. I have a devil may care attitude. I'm more like myself because I don't care what someone thinks of me. I'm pretty snarky with lame puns taboot. lol Apparently that old adage "Be yourself" really does work.

It's just frustrating though. I had a guy give me his number this weekend and I just can't in good conscience start anything as opposed to before when I'd really like to give it a chance.

Bah I even joked around going " *Waves Jedi hand* I am not the girl you are looking for." I was being dead serious too. Apparently that only had the reverse effect on him.


I have to say I'm happy for you Shadowchaser. I'm glad you're in a place where you can accept someone into your life. Enjoy it.

I hope I can get to that point someday.

 

[saffy]

When I'm actively not trying I have an amazing hair day. But when I purposely try to make my hair look nice? It looks like it was just thrown in the weed whacker. It's not pretty...

I think that is a way of saying stop trying too hard. relax and let it happen :) OF course you have to want it too ;)

You have a good way of putting things 99Phoenix99

Saffy :)

 

[The Hermit King]

Bah I even joked around going " *Waves Jedi hand* I am not the girl you are looking for." I was being dead serious too. Apparently that only had the reverse effect on him.

:roflmao: That's freakin hilarious

 

[Springer80]

I'm excited and scared all at the same time... Scared that he will realize how much of a mess up I am and decide I'm not worth the time. That he will decide I'm nothing more than a charity case. Hang out a little then just dump me to the side.

PTSD is apart of Ricanoland but it is not Ricanoland.

I miss giving and feeling love, . And with PTSD, I feel damaged, and although I know in a sense I am...I've come so far and feel open to the thought of love and romance again, and I still know I'm full of awesome most of the time despite it, lol.

Everybody has needs...I don`t understand why anyone would make another feel like a lesser person for having reasonable needs, especially as simple as a sense of safety.

I wish I didn't feel scared. I'm tired of having to consider it and my behavior being based around it. It's too late to start this now but I was going to write a post about all the things that scare me about dating. But it's bed time and I don't want to fill my head with that stuff.

Fears are part of Springerland but not this late and listed on purpose!! :eek:

 

[stuff]

I once had kind of a date with a guy who raised his own game birds. (He's a chef.) He made me dinner, and then we got into a discussion about farming. He started to tell me about slaughtering his birds. As someone who survived attempted murder for some reason this set me off like a rocket, and I started realizing I didn't know this guy very well and I was alone at his house. And if he slaughtered birds, would it really be such a big step to... well yeah. I left his house so swiftly that I practically ran out the door. We are still friends, but I think he thinks I'm a bit of a nut. I felt like a total jerk afterwards.

 

[saffy]

Hi Stuff

Yes I would think that would have been a trigger. Your reactions got you into a place where you felt safe. Do not feel a jerk about it though, you have done nothing wrong :hug:

best wishes
Saffy :)