Justmehere
Sponsor
If you look for a dog to do a trial period of training to be a service dog, the important thing is to have someone who really understands dog behavior and temperament. This is different than knowing how to train a dog. Many dogs can become highly trained dogs. But many dogs that can become highly trained would not be good service dogs. Not many dogs have the temperament to do service dog work, especially for service dog work for PTSD.
Before I trained my own service dog, I trained service dogs for guide dogs for the blind. Again and again, the dogs who made it through the program has the right temperament and personalities. Sometimes they could actually be harder to train, but once trained, they were calm rock solid steady dogs.
I actually initially worked with dog trainers when I was trying to find a service dog for myself. It was a mess. We picked the wrong dogs several times. I talked to someone at a service dog training center that trained dogs for PTSD, and she told me what I'm telling you now. Don't go with trainers who are used to picking dogs that can be trained. That is important, but when dealing with service dog work, you have to evaluate the temperament of the dog. Then I learned all I could about temperament, and found a dog behaviorist. I told the behaviorist what I needed in a dog in terms of temperament, and we found the right kinds of dogs much faster.
Good call! There is NO WAY to accurately temperament test a dog in such a high stress environment for the dog as a public fair. Holy cow. This actually makes me mad that they think they can accurately assess a dog for service dog work based on an encounter in what is a high stress for the dog. Let's say it goes well, they then could evaluate the dog with you one way, and then once the dog gets home and settled into a different environment, the temperament could test differently - and this is well known fact among any trainer who knows how to evaluate a dog's temperament.
Meeting a new dog being considered for service dog work should not mean throwing it in a setting like this with so many people and other animals around. It should be you and the dog, and perhaps a dog expert who knows about behavior and temperament, and the therapist. If that goes well, then take the next step.
Choosing a dog to train for possible service dog work is a long process. If this trainer did her homework, she would have easily known it takes much longer than 1 meeting and one week of evaluation. This true for owner-trainer service dogs and for dogs trained by a professional service dog agency or by private trainers.
Picking a dog to train for possible service dog work is a process that can be overwhelming for PTSD sufferers if they have others trying to push for things to happen. Initially, I had a handful of people helping in my own search but they all had such strong opinions and emotions in it all (people often have strong opinions about dogs) that I ended up doing it with with just me and the behaviorist - and the behaviorist didn't really care if I picked one dog or not. They didn't have any investment or agenda or opinion about any particular dog prior to meeting with me.
I could actually go on and on about this... but I will spare you having to endure any more time of me standing up on my soap box about this. ;)
I actually think their own PTSD symptoms have likely been involved in this, it just looks differently than how it looks for you. The trainer may have her own blind spots to what she can and can't handle. What works for her isn't what works for others. She sounds like in her anxiety to help you, she has gone too far to try to rescue or care take you by finding a dog for you, almost at all costs! Someone who was more calm about it all would have not had the dog stay AT ALL once it was known the dog couldn't handle a cat. That should have been more than enough reason to stop, but instead she pushed ahead. I believe that was out of her own anxiety and her own personal needs to have this dog work out for you.
They know what would help them and they are projecting it on to you. They mean well, but it doesn't mean they know what you need. Their own PTSD may be effecting their objectivity. Your therapist means so well too...
None of this is not a sign of you needing more than the average person looking for a service dog or you being more messed up than anyone else. It is a sign that they are being foolish in their assessment of their ability to properly help you find a dog to begin to work with to become a service dog.
Lots of people with PTSD use service dogs - and it is a growing trend. You being the first one for your therapist doesn't mean you are the worst case ever. Rather, you are the first person in his case load to be in on a growing trend. 15 years ago, service dogs for PTSD were almost unheard of. 5 years from now, I bet your T will have more clients with service dogs than just you, because it will be more common.
As far as your personal search for a dog, I think you have a great sense about what you need, and good instincts about what is a good setting to meet a dog in. The meeting should not leave you triggered as hell. That really defeats the purpose in every single way.
I can understand your desire to put all of this away and not try again right now. I hope you keep it open as a possible option to reconsider going about finding a service dog in a different way. I agree with others that the people involved need to be changed more than anything... but in the end, as much as I support and love what good trained service dogs can do for people, it is not a process to be rushed and it's also not for everyone. Take your time thinking this through. I think your therapist is hoping for a dog like his for you, a dog that can help you ground at any time. That could help a lot, but the process of finding that dog should not pushed or rushed.
IMHO, you handled this all pretty darn well and you are keeping some good boundaries about meeting the dog at the fair too.
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