I’m kind of in a similar position as you.
My partner and I were together 4 years. Basically he accused me of sleeping with someone from my work. (I actually wasn’t or haven’t cheated on him but he is extremely insecure) So to cut a long story short he admitted that he’s been checking my phone when I’m asleep etc. I was so disappointed that this had been going on. So we split up for about 6 weeks he moved to his dads during this time. We reconnected recently and many promises were made that he would give me privacy and not go through my phone. I told him that I’m not living my life being accused in the wrong and having my phone checked like a child.. Which brings us to this weekend that he’s gone and checked my phone again. Can I set a boundary that if he continues to keep checking my phone that is a deal breaker or is that unreasonable??
I had a conversation with him asking has he perhaps got A guilty conscience and that’s why he’s doing this but he claims that’s not the reason why...
Does anyone else’s partner have trust issues or do this??
How best do I deal with this? I do want to be with this man. I love him but I cannot stand someone trying to control me.
Lock your phone?
Yes, you can set the boundary of having the phone be off limits.
Someone checking my phone would be a deal breaker.
Just think...
Most of us have smartphones these days where we can check email.
Opening someone's snail mail is illegal, so email should be private, too. I have this opinion with texts, etc.
If you were my friend and I knew your boyfriend was reading everything I said to you, I'd probably let the relationship take a back seat as a lot of my communication is electronic these days and I don't want everyone knowing my business, even if it seems trivial to you.
What not to do is give in. Letting your partner view your phone is NOT how to build trust.
My dad's bitch-ho had full access to his phone. This is a huge part of why we are distant these days i.e. not being able to have a private one on one relationship with my dad.
It's my opinion that the phone is sacred. Nobody is to see my phone and I NEVER look at someone else's phone without their permission (each and every time).
If you trust your partner, you'll give them phone privacy.
