Dealing With Possible Break Up/moving Out

[SeekingAfrica]

I just want to send you encouragement. I went through a breakup 2 years ago. My PTSD was causing...

Thank you so MUCH for this, really! I really needed to hear this today. Today is one of these days in which I really start wondering if I can actually do this whatsoever. I guess I'll have to, I just can't seems to stop crying today.
We are still living together though I am sleeping on guest bed and slowly moving stuff out, and it's really tough to hold it together. There are days in which I'm really excited about having the freedom to concentrate only on healing and recovery for myself...And I have lists of things to do and I look for support when I need it and take time off...but then of course there are days like today. When I just saw him and had some realizations about us, and I felt again this pain - am I doing the right thing, why is it that who we are is separating us but I still love him...And then of course this is not good for any of my issues so for after being productive for like a week, for the past 3 hours I go between calming down and bawling my eyes out at the whole thought of us separating.


Do you have any tips on that transitional tough period of moving out and figuring living on your own and being independent and healthy for yourself, anything that may help me? What made you relapse?

 

[Lady Moonlight]

Honestly, transition was one of the hardest parts. I hadn't lived on my own since I was 18 and I was really terrified (especially having kids to provide for). Thankfully, I have a stable job. I used essential oils every day at work to keep me calm and functional. I talked to trustworthy friends and family members to help me cope with the grief of losing him. I started therapy for the first time in my life with a trauma specialist. I made lists of priorities (like bills and to-do things). I took time off school, so that I had plenty of time to organize my new place. I shopped. I bought things for my new apartment like decorations and new linens. I bought myself a new bed. I focused on each thing as a success.
Here is my new apartment. It's wonderful! This is MINE and I did it all by myself without relying on someone. Success!!
Here are my dishes. I can leave them in the sink if I want to. Or wash them if I want to. Success!!
I can watch any movie I want. I can sleep on the couch if I want. I can meet friends after work or go for a walk. I connected with new people.
I had spent so much time and energy on my relationship with him and almost none on myself. So I really took the time to be selfish. And I looked at it as a success. And each success was positive energy that I was giving back to myself instead of being drained. Sure there were days I cried. I cried a LOT. I cried doing dishes. I cried in bed. I cried in the car. It's normal. That's how grief works. There's nothing wrong with crying your eyes out right now. But try to think about the crying as flushing the pain out of your system so you can heal.