Dealing With The Daily Anxiety

[Frida]

I've never heard of 'SHALT' ...never allow ourselves to get sick, hungry, angry, lonely, tired without taking corrective action. I think what happens for me is I get lonely, even though I prefer being alone.

What I'm saying to myself in my head is awe full. It goes on all the time and I tried to work on it in therapy. I guess I need to work harder on writing down what's being said inside. It's just so constant, I'd never get anything done. Like right now in my head it's saying ' Why are you writing all this out, no one gives a crap about you, you're wasting peoples time, you're so stupid' And it goes on and on and it's a lot more mean than that. I could argue with what's being said, but they just keep saying it over and over. I guess I just have to continue working on this.

It sounds like you had a really great therapist BloomWinter.

Refuse to blame, shame, or hate on myself internally or verbally. That word 'refuse' seems to give me strength and not the voices. I just somehow believe I deserve it. I know I didn't do anything wrong. That's what therapy has taught me. But I feel my very existence is wrong. I realize that this is due to being an unwanted child and being told that over and over all through childhood and how I've ruined peoples lives by existing. It's just so deep seeded and years of therapy has mostly helped me uncover the reasons (the variety of abuse) for my issues.

But fixing me? There seems to be no fix. Being bipolar always complicates things. Medication helps.

I'll start writing these negative voices down again. I think being alone in the afternoon and having them attacking me is perhaps what is causing some of this anxiety everyday.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

The more you confront whatever the trigger is driving up the anxiety, the better your system begins to give you relief.

For those of us with PTSD, the basics are so important. "SHALT" which stands for not allowing ourselves to get too sick, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired without taking corrective action.

What are you saying to yourself in your head? It really does matter. When we're self-harming via abusive self-talk, we continually drive down our self-esteem and drive up our anxiety.

I wrote down all the negative self-talk I had going on, and I shocked myself. I shared it with my therapist and we worked on cognitive 'challenges' to each one of the negative statements I made. I tackled one at a time. Whenever I'd have the negative thought come into my head, which was beyond my control, I'd counter it with one of the challenge statements to begin re-training my brain to stop working against me.

I can't thank you enough for this entire post. I posted a thread in the therapy section here on the boards where I was asking about whether or not to change my therapist. I started thinking about it after my session this week when I was asking her very pointed and direct questions about what to do when the thoughts come to my head and I get overwhelmed with anxiety and her response was that I should "distract it away".

I was so frustrated because I was asking for exactly what you were saying here. Something to counter the thoughts and refocus myself somehow. I don't think distracting will work for me enough. Especially when I'm overwhelmed with anxiety. I mean for one thing isn't trying to act like it's not a problem by distracting myself half of the problem? Isn't it quite a bit like just being silent like I was for years? I want to empower myself not get another hobby. In ways your post is very freeing to me and gives me a sense of hope. So thank you again for posting that.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

First of all: great topic. I think this is very useful for everyone on this forum and that it would be wonderful if we would all share how we deal with the anxiety we have to go through every day.

Second of all: I completely agree with BloomInWinter. I have just barely realised how important it is to take care of myself. I have been pushing myself over my limits for years, because though I have always been a perfectionist, my parents thought I needed to be pushed to accomplish enough in life. I truly believe that I am either on the brink or already over the edge of being overstrained and overstressed and I have no idea when I should stop working and when I can do some more. Because I always thought "I haven't dropped dead yet, so I should be able to work harder and do some more" I have no idea what my boundaries are. What I'm trying to say with this is that you HAVE TO take yourself seriously, or you will break down your own body.

There are two things I do when I feel anxious. First, I have some natural "chill pills" with valerian in them that help a little. They certainly don't take away the anxiety, but they do get the edge off a bit. And because they're natural, they won't have a negative effect on my body.
The other thing is that I listen to music and try to sing/whisper along to the lyrics. This helps best when the song has a fast rhythm and more complex lyrics, like (one of my personal favourites) Ed Sheeran's "You need me, I don't need you". Because I'm focussing completely on uttering every single word of the song, which would take a lot of concentration for anyone, I transfer the adrenaline from my anxiety into energy. I throw all the negative energy out by singing/whispering/rapping along with a lot of songs. It works like a charm for me and I'm really glad I discovered it.
I hope this will help others as well as it helps me.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Oh and once I've calmed down enough, I usually watch one or two episodes of a comedy tv series, like "The big bang theory" to get some happy hormones released. After that, I'm usually very tired but pretty much back to normal :)

 

[Chincho]

The big bang theory is great for when I'm really anxious.

I also like to watch a program on History channel called "Treasure Hunters" (in my country). It's about two guys who go around buying old collectible stuff from other people.

 

[ms spock]

There is hope. It begins by changing the way we speak to ourselves. We must refuse to blame, shame, or hate on ourselves internally or verbally. Then new self-affirming thoughts have a chance to begin nurturing our wounded areas of our psyche.

Thanks for your insight and for sharing your experiences. This post means so much to me. It really help me.

 

[BloomInWinter]

((((((Ms Spock))))))

I'm glad you are feeling better. You deserve a peaceful, enjoyable life.

 

[ms spock]

Oh I am struggling today with the anxiety. It is hard.