Sexual Assault Definitions

[Suzetig]

I think that's a really healthy place to be - there are lots of ways to define an event eg through a trauma "lens", legally, morally, experientially... the list goes on. What matters is how you make sense of it, the meaning that it has to you.

It might be worth exploring with your therapist what made you look to other people to define what happened to you. I know I've found it helpful to think about what drives me to look to others for validation or confirmation of how I feel. Sounds like you're on the road to finding something that fits you best, which is a good thing. Good luck on your journey.

 

[katurian]

I think that's a really healthy place to be - there are lots of ways to define an event eg through a tr...

Thank you for being so respectful and supportive. I have talked to her somewhat about my need to seek validation. It's a complex set of reasons and I'm aware I do it, even though I can't always stop myself. So that awareness is something. I'll be seeing her only one more time before I go back to school and then I'm not really sure. I initially intended not to get another therapist but I know I still have more work to do. I guess this is a bit off topic though.

 

[katurian]

I have more to say about this, I hope that's okay.

When I was 11, I was swimming in a lake with my sister. We swam out to the dock in the middle of the lake and a man in his mid to late 20s or 30s said he would teach my how to dive. He touched me but I didn't understand what was happening. My mom was yelling for my sister and I to come back to the shore and then was angry I had trusted him to "teach me how to dive." I felt guilty at the time but this isn't something I consider to have been traumatic for me. I have no particular feelings about it, it doesn't influence me in the present. But it's weird because that is definition sexual assault or molestation. So the definite instance of it doesn't bother me but the one where everything is all jumbled with intention and point of view does. But I actually think my hospital experiences were far more severe in terms of dehumanization, loss of autonomy, humiliation, and being treated like an object than my experience at the lake. So I guess my vastly different reactions to these two things make sense?