Derealization episode. this sucks.

[EveHarrington]

I've only had a handful of these, but hoo-boy, this one sucks!

I hate how normal grounding methods don't help much.

I need to feel safe. That's the only way I can pull out of this one.

I feel distant from everything. Just want to sleep.

My inner child is silent. Hidden. I can't find her. That's how I know this is bad.

I am going to the park. Will walk for a bit. Maybe play on the swings. Those are safe things.

I should eat, too. No food in my system doesn't help, actually hurts things.

And the sucky thing is that I can't verbalize for shit. I can type. All the things I want to say are swimming around in my head. They just can't be said right now. And it's pissing off the people around me. They think I'm being angry. They think I'm being passive aggressive. It's none of these things. Their frustration only makes me feel more unsafe.

I try to speak, stumble over my words. The right things don't come out and I am left feeling frustrated and unheard.

I am looking for words of encouragement. Any kind of dialogue really as my communication with the world has whittled down to typing. If you have any tips on what helps you when you feel disconnected from the world and can't communicate, I'd love to hear those too.

Thank you for your support. I am really struggling at the moment and appreciate that you take the time to help me. :hug:

 

[Muted]

I can relate to the whole communication thing, sometimes I can’t even type or write, because everything is swarming around in my mind. Sometimes cleaning something really helps me focus and get back in the present.

 

[nowthisisme]

it's really hard for me to reconnect and i haven't learned new techniques yet but what really helps me sometimes is listening to really loud music, i turn it on and start singing. It has to be dancing music, it normally takes 3 songs and my toddler starts dancing to make me shake out of it. If that doesnt work i go to the gym, thats a sure thing for me, i kinda snap back into life after i have a good workout.
I hope you feel better soon! :hug:

 

[joeylittle]

Sounds like you have some good distractions planned. Something else that helps me when I get like this is, verbalizing just what I'm doing in the moment. So, not trying to verbalized anything about my psychological state. Just narrating along with myself as I do something simple.

It can help my brain get un-stuck.

 

[mamachick]

What helps me is reminding myself that it is temporary and is not fatal. I just went through this, not quite out the other end yet. I get this from withdrawing from anti depressant. I was without it several days and the worst was friday.

 

[SpacemanSpiff]

Did the park help you? I also go to the park though being emotional paralyzed in bed is such a horrible place to be in. I need meds to function but I find comfort in the T sessions. Do you have one coming up or considering starting?

 

[Unlovable]

I've only had a handful of these, but hoo-boy, this one sucks!

I hate how normal grounding metho...

I totally understand, and I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. Your story really spoke to me, almost as if I was writting the words myself. I totally get it, I feel this pain and fear a lot. I find it very difficult to trust anyone with these thoughts running through my head on a constant loop. Please know that you are not alone in this.

 

[Kristi]

I thank you for sharing your thoughts. Thank you.. because for the first time in a long time I hear someone with the words I myself do not have yet.

You just showed me that I am not alone. You are not alone.